#223 Alex Boianghu: It Is Time to Heal

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My guest, Alex Boianghu, is a dedicated and gifted therapist with over 30 years of study and practice. He uses an integrative approach to therapy, emphasizing psycho-spiritual growth grounded in somatic therapy’s focus on the unity of body and mind.

Alex is trained in EMDR, a technique used to help people process and resolve trauma successfully. He is also a gifted couple’s therapist, assisting the partners to reach deep levels of awareness and compassion. With compassion and discernment, Alex guides and models how to positively harness the psycho-dynamic energies we all possess to rediscover our common and innate holistic nature.

Alex shares a story of where it all began…

At age 7, Alex asked himself: what would happen to me? How would I feel about myself, about life, about that person, if I took that?

He had a thought experiment going on in his mind. At age 7! 

That thought was the catalyst that led him to where and who he is today. Hence his nickname of “The Mind Whisperer”! 

In our conversation, Ani tells us that there are  two kinds of lack. 

Lack #1: “Ontological Lack”– which is the anxiety of impermanence and a non-existence of a self. In a way of ‘coping’ with this, we end up unconsciously seeking object constancy. This is the idea that “I-Self” exists, and the thoughts of “I am solid”, and “I will exist forever.”

Lack #2: “Psychological Lack.” This happens because our parents are imperfect. Their dynamics are what create our environment. This environment is almost foreign to us because it’s not who we truly are– it’s who our parents are! And that brings about this ironic sense of feeling home-sick. We are losing our CORE self! And as a way of coping with this, we get busier and busier schedules. 

When we are a child and if a parent yells at us for something we did ‘wrong’, we oftentimes internalize that as our identity– rather than as a mere mistake. For example, if we are called “stupid” for dropping someting, we then dwell on ourselves thinking and feeling low about ourselves, rather than just owning that we made an everyday mistake and moving along. Now, imagine this happening over and over and over again without ever being healed. That’s how many of us are walking around in this world…

It is time to heal. 

The body is where the story is written.” — Alex B. 

Topics Mentioned in Episode:

  • Mindfulness & somatic work in healing trauma.
  • How traumas create negative patterns in relationships.
  • Overcoming shame: why we have it and what to do about it.
  • What if I don’t trust my therapist? Key things to know.
  • Mindfulness meditation: a proven way to reduce stress.
  • The integration of psychology and spirituality.


Alex’s Website

Psychology Today

Alex’s LinkedIn

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