This week on the WW Podcast I spoke with Dr. Simon. He’s An internationally-recognized expert on manipulators and other problem characters and the author of 3 bestselling books: In Sheep’s Clothing (which has been translated into 12 foreign languages), Character Disturbance, and The Judas Syndrome.
In our conversation, I reminisced on a time I decided to speak up about what I was facing (relationally), which turned out to be the catalyst to my healing! A dear friend of mine suggested books to read and even admitted her similar struggles. This made me realize, once again, how VITAL it is for us to share what we are going through.
“I really believe in the importance of character above all else. Building character is what it’s all about.” — Dr. George Simon
Dr. George tells us this:
“There are psychological conditions that occur in people that are basically OK as a person… They are suffering from conditions that are either caused or influenced by biochemical imbalances and they are affected by circumstances and need a little bit of help. THEN, there are individuals whose problems and the problems they cause others are a direct result of who they have fashioned themselves to be…”
Dr. George offered an enlightening perspective…
Looking outward for answers is a guaranteed dead-end street. And, it is also the formula for depression. The alternative is looking INWARD. Asking yourself: Why? Why do I feel x, y, and z?
Looking outward can also cause a lot of confusion, anxiety and even fear. Sometimes we may even feel crazy. This, “am I crazy?” feeling often comes when your gut tells you one thing. But, you look outward for objective evidence, typically from one with a very strong personality and ego, someone who speaks with passion and certitude, who then makes you doubt… They may make you doubt your logic but often they are making you doubt your instinct. And… you feel crazy!
It becomes difficult to decipher what’s real/true and what isn’t. Your gut instinct tells you one thing is real, but other evidence says, “maybe something else is real.”
All of the sudden, you stop knowing what’s real anymore.
This can be especially difficult to decipher when dealing with something relationally. Often we get so blinded by emotion and comfortability.
Dr. Simon gives insight on how to trust your gut instinct but also some tried and true signs of character faults and toxicity.
Make sure to tune in!
Dr. George’s Tips:
- Trust your gut. It will not mislead you as much as your brain will.
- Once you understand what makes certain people tick and the tactics they use, you can find some space in your heart to take note of that and choose to NOT be sued by that. Be true to your heart and not listen or be convinced by them. Let them be them and you be you.
- Seek INWARD, not outward.
- Conquer your self-love. And refuse to budge!