If you had to narrow down to the ONE THING that you believe is holding you back from achieving everything you dreamed of, what would it be?
Could it be as simple as not “Asking” for what you want?” On a scale from 1-5 — 5 being you are an Expert Asker — how would you rate your Asking willingness and ability?
This episode is all about learning how to ASK. My guests, Mark Victor and Crystal recently wrote a book called Ask! They claim that much of not getting what we want out of life is a direct result of not asking for exactly what we want out of life.
A starting place they offered in the interview is to begin by asking yourself these crucial questions:
- Where are you in your life right now?
- Where do you want to be?
- What questions do you need to be asking to bridge the gap?
- Who could you be asking to help?
Chances are that you are not asking the right questions. And, you are not asking others to help you in your quest to manifest your goals and dreams. Merely asking sounds pretty simple. But, it tends to be one of the most difficult things for us to do.
Because of those same demons that continue to sabotage our potential: guilt, shame, fear, avoidance, and/or lack of clarity of purpose. Most especially the fear of being rejected by being told “no.” We give up all those “yeses” in fear of getting an occasional “no.” Which, at the end of the day — keeps us playing small! Robbing us of ever reaching our potential.
I took copious notes during this interview.
Some of the topics discussed are
- The Power of Asking
- Why You Need a Seven Year Old On Your Board
- How To Get Yourself Unstuck
- Flipping the Script On Feeling Unworthy
- How To Ask For What We Want
- How To Inspire People
- The Seven Roadblocks Of Asking
- Seeking Connection
- Gender Differences In Asking
Mark Victor Hansen is probably best known as the co-author of the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series and brand, setting world records in book sales, with over 500 million books sold. Mark also worked his way into a worldwide spotlight as a sought-after keynote speaker and entrepreneurial marketing maven.
Crystal Dwyer Hansen is an international speaker, researcher, corporate consultant, author, and entrepreneur. Her expertise is in the field of human potential. Through her years spent as a Transformational Life Coach and Wellness/Nutrition Expert, she has seen people experience profound and lasting transformation in relationships, career, health & wellness by tapping into their inner resources.
These two are amazing humans. Let me know your takeaways!
This transcription was made by using Otter.ai so it is not 100% accurate.
Krisstina Wise [0:00]
Hello and welcome back. In this episode I interview Mark Victor Hansen and his spectacular wife, Crystal. I’m certain you’re familiar with Mark’s work best known for the Chicken Soup for the Soul book series and brand with over 500 million books sold. He’s spoken to over 6000 audiences worldwide and he’s a prolific writer, author in my personal all time faves like the power of focus, the Aladdin factor and the one minute millionaire. Mark finds his greatest joy now in his soulmate relationship with his wife, best friend and partner, Crystal Dyer Hanson. I mentioned how much I enjoyed the two of them together. And he said, a true soulmate relationship allows you to express all you’re meant to be at your best crystal does that for me. I love that. Together, they joined us here to talk about their latest book ask where they break down the science of asking. And yes, they say there is a science to ask him, suggesting that 99% of not getting what you desire is a result of not knowing something as basic as how to ask. These two are amazing. I could have talked to them for hours, their exuberant energy flows to the computer and their attitudes and words are inspiring. By listening. I know you’ll fall in love with them as much as I did designed to pick up the book, the second you finish the podcast. If you think you could be better at asking for what you desire, your wish to listen in, please enjoy my conversation with Mark Victor and crystal Hansen. Crystal and Mark, welcome to the wealthy, wealthy podcast.
Mark Victor Hansen [1:28]
We are honored and thankful to be here. We love the title of your podcast, right?
Crystal Hansen [1:31]
Such a great title and so happy to be here with you, Christina.
Krisstina Wise [1:36]
Yeah, thanks for referencing the title because the whole idea behind the company the brand came out of a lifestyle of mine that you know, just the magic of life. And I’ve already always been into business and building wealth like the MIT one minute millionaire love that book, by the way, and, and rich kids. Yes. So, but just always been really intent upon building wealth net worth money. But I was in the money game and the business game for a long time. And it nearly killed me. I mean, I just lived the life of more achievement attainment go. And I mean, I just missed life because I was always after the next gold ring, so to speak. I got really sick and then I learned my lesson on my deathbed when I’m kind of, you know, begging mother you for another chance and getting all these life lessons. And I realized that wealth, w e Ll th is what life is about. And I’ve been after the wealth, and I missed the wealth, and the name of my kind of the next book and my business came out of that experience. And it’s like, yeah, we have the money wealth, but it’s to underwrite the cost of living a really wealthy life, spiritually, mentally, emotionally relationally. So everything you’re doing is just fits right into that.
Mark Victor Hansen [2:45]
Well, first of all, let me just hitchhike on what you said is it, we believe the triangle of life, the highest value has got to be health. Because if you haven’t got your health, what the hell good is wealth because you’re laying in a hospital bed, you get a billion or 10 billion or 100 billion dollars, and you’re all tuned up, but you can’t move you’re useless. So we say, health, wealth, and then freedom. And that that’s really why we build our wealth is to maximize freedom and all the dimensionality that you talk about relationships, spiritual, mental, physical, emotional, all that full. That and what we’re saying with our new book ask is that everyone’s got a destiny to the fulfillment of their soul, their mind their body, and their health.
Krisstina Wise [3:23]
Yeah, and I think we just miss it in this business entrepreneurial world where you know, it’s all about business and great success. It’s that’s all good. But that was my biggest lesson is that Oh, and the in the in money vocabulary. My body is my number one asset enough. If I’m laying here, one, I can’t generate any more wealth, but two, I can’t enjoy my wealth. I can’t enjoy life, like I just missed it. And you know, I’ve always said would, would Steve Jobs give this last billion dollar way to get his health back to still be here today? And we can probably all say categorically, yes.
Crystal Hansen [3:55]
Absolutely. Yeah. And that’s, that’s why when we wrote the book, as we wrote it about asking the right questions in all those categories, asking the right questions in career asking the right question suit, your greatest health, asking the right questions for your greatest relationships and also for your life purpose. Because if we can be going after all those things, that if we’re not connecting it to our greater purpose, then we’re kind of left sort of feeling void of any meaning. So I’m happy to be discussing it today.
Krisstina Wise [4:26]
Yeah, so let’s just jump right in then is first of all, I’d love to you guys just to share a little bit of story. I mean, I think you know, your names are very well known, but I just love to hear hear the story like who are you and and what’s some of the backstory that people may not know and what brought you to really writing this book and, and wanting to encourage people to stand up and start asking
Mark Victor Hansen [4:51]
you unwrapped a lot of questions. So I’m going to try to synchronize them and I agree with every one of them. Thank you and I’ll in any we missed we can go back to that. Obviously, I’ve been been blessed to sell half a million books starting with Chicken Soup for the Soul series and now written 312 books. And the question I get asked in the Library Association of America has just asked me to do films to get everyone to go to library because I think reading is the first fundamental freedom of freedoms, which is a whole different level of asking than we’ve ever done before. But when crystal I’ve traveled around the world to 80 countries and met, talk to 7 million people, and interesting what they ask, especially like, for 20 years, we’re going to China, they asked spiritual questions. And that’s why we said, Look, the three parts of ask ask yourself, ask others and ask God. And the other thing is, we’ve been doing all these podcasts, like you mentioned before we started, and we’re doing in Australia, which is basically a neutral secular country, meaning 90%, people do not go to church. And every one of them goes right to spiritual death. Because the spiritual runs a mental which runs a physical. So when you were laid up in bed, and I don’t know for sure what happened, but I’ll bet anything, you’ve got deeper in your spirituality, I would bet that and I see you nodding your head for those who are listening and not seeing it. So then when we traveled around, what we did is we looked at all the people that were wonderful, professional, well educated, had money. But the difference between somebody who succeeded totally and had their destiny wired and somebody who did not, was one thing only they ask, so what we decided to do is write it and every time we had a problem or an adversity, we asked our way out of it individually, and collectively, which we’ll talk to. And what we discovered is it our destiny is helping everyone else find their destiny and right now, because of COVID, and fear and all that people have been locked in this cocoon now for eight months, right? It’s just tragic.
Crystal Hansen [6:44]
Right. And I just wanted to add to that, Christina, so I’m a transformational life coach, board certified hypnotherapist. So my work is all has always been about bringing out the best in, in people. And so in those three areas we talk about in the book on each of those are the channels through which Mark and I discovered that are essential to asking yourself to create a different result in your life. And it’s asking yourself, ask others and ask God, and the asking yourself part is that reflective journey. And that’s really about that’s what transformational work is about, right? It’s about taking that quiet time with ourselves. And really questioning what’s working and what’s not working. And Mark and I say there are three critical phases to that asking yourself part, right? critical phase number one is like, Where am I now? Because we can’t change anything in our lives until we spend that time with ourselves, you know, determine where am I now? What am I? what’s working, what’s not working? Am I really passionate about what I’m doing? Is it fulfilling me? Or is it draining me? All of those things that you probably started asking yourself when you got sick, because you were forced to this place this critical, you know, moment or this crisis. And that’s what happens with so many of us, we have these, these setbacks, and we crash and burn we have a crisis. And then finally, we’re forced to, you know, we don’t have any answers. But we always have questions. And that’s why this asking journey is so critical to recognize, and then to start implementing in your own life. So that critical phase number one is like Where am I now? And then second critical phase is? Where do I want to be? It’s surprising how many how few people take the time to really stop and ask themselves those questions like, Where do I want to be? Like, ultimately, what do I really want from my life? And when you start, you know, entering that phase, where do I want to be? There’s all those sub questions that come underneath it. And what Mark and I like to say is, you know, this is the place where you really need to use your imagination, bring imagination in a big way. And we say, go to the nth degree of what you want. And you may have to ask a lot of questions to get there of yourself, but in your ultimate scenario of what you want, what does that look like, right? Whether it’s in career in your relationships, in your health and wellness, start to imagine that nth degree of success and wonder and and, and loveliness and then start asking yourself, like engineering it backwards, like, Who am I talking to? Every day? What am I doing with my time every day? How do I feel in my health and fitness? You know, how am I expressing myself each day? And as you start to ask those questions, you literally start to engineer a different plan for your life. And it’s really quite miraculous because human beings are the only only animal that has the ability to imagine. And so it’s like, it’s like we can truly create anything we want if we’re willing to take this time with ourselves. And then of course, the final critical phase of that ask yourself part is You know, where am I? Now? Where do I want to be? And then what specific action Do I need to take to get there? Because it’s important to define that, you know, once you start asking questions, I promise you, solutions, understandings are going to start to come to you. And then you need to take the action. You can’t just sit on the sofa and wrap yourself in a blankie. ready to start. It’s
Krisstina Wise [10:21]
like the law of attraction like, yeah, you actually have to do something. I’d love to question into that a little bit. It reminds me actually the question of a conversation I had yesterday, and one of my coaching calls and the my student on the other side, she said, Christina, we’re just my husband and I were talking, we’re just afraid to dream. And what if we can’t get there? And they, you know, just seems so silly to dream big. And I just really stumped me in a way and almost made me sad, like, Whoa, like, where does our imagination go? Why do we quit imagining his results? Why do we quit thinking of what’s possible? You know, I, you know, why don’t we start with lifestyle architecture of dreaming what we want and kind of the destination and our destiny. And then working back from there. It’s just we start here, and we just people just get in the drift and in their patterns, and pithead ritualized, and just think something’s going to change, magically on its own, like, where do people get stuck? Like, what is the stuckness?
Mark Victor Hansen [11:18]
Well, first of all, I like the first sentence to the end, but I did the number one said, paste Nightingale Conant soul I created and they’re still selling like crazy. And now it’s becoming a book called, how to think bigger than you ever thought you can think. Because it’s not that we think too big, it’s that we think too small. And that’s verified by certain character guard, the Danish Nobel Prize winner, it’s Bill Gates said, in a short term, we want too much in long term, we don’t want enough and the point that to your student and friend there is that what happened is that she is thinking low, because what we learned about questioning is that people get their questions squished out of them starting at a very young age. And I’ll give an example of that minute. But is it you just have too many questions? Who do you think you are? And then you go to school and they said, we’re here to teach you, you got to learn this alphabet. You don’t have to ask why, you know, but you just got and then it goes through the military goes through business and all that. And so what happened when we started this book called Ask the bridge from your dreams are definitely two years ago, we’re in Hawaii on vacation when you could still do such things. And we’ve got six grandkids that we adore. And the six year old Everett who’s really precocious this kid is going to be a student. Gigantic leader, but he got a Gizmo watch did crazy watch. And he can only call his parents and grandparents and he calls him to grampy. Are you in meanie alone? Can I talk to you? I said, Son, you can talk to us. 24 seven always for the rest of your life. You know, you’re the most important thing in our world. What is it you want to do? He said, You know those chicken soup books that you wrote? I said, Yes, sir. He said, I like them. Are you still writing them? I said, I’m still writing book, sir. He says, Well, can I write a book with you? Now understand, most parents had been grandparents ago. You’re six years old? How can you help us right? But instead what did we say?
Crystal Hansen [13:05]
Mark Victor Hansen [13:06]
And so he helped us write this book. Because why shouldn’t a six year old and to vamp on that out of the tapes? I haven’t been relisting the tapes because we’re turning it into a book right now. And and I talk about why every business should have an eight year old under boarded records and the first guy to teach me that I lived in Boulder Colorado and I was a professor out there for a while. at University of Colorado and most seagull I would go collect herbs at night the guy started solicitous evenings tea and is the main owner of a lot of things. Anyhow, moe always had an eight year old on his board and I said mo why he said they got the best crap detector in the world. They don’t take any crap that I’m giving a crap and they see crap that fast.
Krisstina Wise [13:46]
So true, isn’t it? Yeah. Yes. Word so where it is. I mean, is there like a unworthiness? Is there just lack of I’m gonna just I’m just really curious like, what’s it the way we’re raised? It just we get stuck on like, hey, you’re not good enough. You’re not worthy or why Think Big? You know? That’s for other people.
Crystal Hansen [14:08]
Right? It’s so crazy Christina because we all start out like Martin saying is these beautiful little children? Okay, uncorrupted. We’re all uncorrupted. When we come into this world away. We just want to know, who, what, when, where, why we’re constantly asking and we are always asking for more and more and more. And that’s beautiful. That’s human spirit trying to come alive. That’s human spirit trying to evolve that’s the natural thing but then, you know, depending on how you were raised or going to school or what jobs you Did you know you it does start to get crushed out of you people shut you down, make you feel embarrassed, aren’t interested, you know, want to tell you what to do not have you asked them. And so and basic life rejection just starts to crush that beautiful, natural spirit out of all of us, to the point where we start feeling afraid or ashamed to ask and Mark and I discovered there are actually several roadblocks to asking. And we discovered that every one of us carries at least one of these roadblocks, if not more, and of course, the first one is unworthiness. That’s a biggie.
Unknown Speaker [15:13]
Do you get it?
Krisstina Wise [15:14]
Yeah. And I guess, in this life crushes you enough, it’s like, Alright, just go through the motions at some point and, and quit dreaming and quit imagining and, and, you know, because that’s the energy, that’s the imagination, energy. It’s the creative energy. It’s the what’s possible energy that we have when we’re young is dreamers, and inventors. And you know, you invent something out of, you know, tense, you create, you know, pillows and blankets and utensil inside the house. And now you’re, you know, with your cowboys or whatever, there’s all the imagination and spirit that a likeness, that all of a sudden, you just find yourself stuck in adulthood. So if you say, or do think, like the stuckness, that people find themselves stuck in the first ask question, like you said, is, maybe you’re stuck because you quit dreaming? So let’s start asking, Where am I today? What’s working? what’s not working? Where do we want to? Where do I want to be next? Where do we want to be? Next? What What is that vision? Can we get back to that, which makes me think we’ve got to get out of the business, we’ve got to get out of these habitual eyes patterns, we’ve got to get out of numbing ourselves with TV or with, with whatever we’re numbing ourselves with and actually go to the journal actually go to the white piece of paper, sit down and have a conversation. So what do you say to that? Like, how do you inspire people to actually Stop the nonsense nonsense, but get out of the pattern? And just sit down and invent? Create?
Crystal Hansen [16:38]
Right, exactly. And you know what? The first step is, Christina, it’s awareness. Okay. So I think it’s really important for people to read these roadblocks. So it’s, I’m just going to go through so people, unworthiness, naivete, doubt, excuses, fear, pattern, paralysis, disconnection. And like I said, Every one of us has one of those, if not more. And here’s the thing. When we wrote about these, we also read the stories of the people who have experienced those, and then realized it and overcome it and said, Oh, my gosh, the great thing about stories, and we use a lot of stories in this book, and obviously the story guy here, right. But the beautiful thing about stories is they’re really metaphors for our own lives. And when we read a story, it that it becomes a metaphor. It’s a pattern that our brain can recognize. And we can go Oh, my gosh, that is me. We literally see ourselves in each other’s stories, because we as humanity have the same universal issues, problems we really do. We’re more connected than we think. And so it’s so beautiful. When you read about these, these roadblocks, these stories you recognize yourself, because the first step is awareness. Like you can’t change anything, unless you’re aware of it right. And you go, Oh, my gosh, we’ve had podcasters who have said, I never realized at my unworthiness It started when I was, you know, 12 years old, I was chubby, and I couldn’t bite anyone to the dance, all of these things that start in our childhood, childhood, you know, but once we are aware that awareness is like a gate opening up. So it’s like, aha, now I can walk through that gate. And knowing and being aware that I have these, I can start to change it. Because and we go so deep into the book about you know, then you’re ready to ask the questions, then you’re ready to sit down with yourself. And you’re right. Like, there’s nothing more important than us. Getting off that hamster wheel. You know, get off your phone, get off your social media and spend some time with yourself. The magic is in here. And as a transformational life coach, I always tell everybody like it’s well, it seems that life is happening out there somewhere. It’s coming at us. We’re ducking and dodging and trying to keep the balls in the air. That is a complete illusion. It’s an illusion. The reality is your life experience is created right here inside of you. Right? And everything that happens, Okay, good, bad or indifferent is going to be generated in here, you get to decide what of those, you know, structures with what of that baggage? Are you going to hang on to? Once you’re aware of that? Oh, my gosh, this started when I was young, and it’s not true. That’s one of the questions as we take people through so many questions, but is it true? Are these things about myself that I’ve been believing? Are they true? Where do they come from? Do I need to keep them or can I let go of them? Yeah, you can let go of them like that. But it’s the awareness and that deliberate decision to start making these changes. And it absolutely requires taking this beautiful asking journey inside at a very deep level. Yeah, well,
Krisstina Wise [19:51]
I’m going to just get chill bumps because it’s so true. And just like sitting with ourselves and, and asking if I’m going to just seem so simple in a way. Let’s see. Let’s move to the second one which is ask others and talk about I think where people probably really bump into the unworthiness and the fear and the maybe naivete some of the the roadblocks are you’re talking about because it’s almost as though we want things to happen without asking. And you know, people have often asked me like, hey, Christina, you know, have you done X, Y, or Z like or how did you make that happen? It’s like, dude, I just asked it was actually pretty simple. What do you think? So where did where again is the fear of asking to be rejected? I’m guessing is the is probably the primary reason why when we’re asking others in business or personal or whatever the cases but we’re not we’re not asking for what we want or need or what may be possible, right? Is that
Mark Victor Hansen [20:46]
because we’re afraid to be looked at as ignorant or abrasive or arrogant or stupid or any of the the multiplicity of stuff there? So let me just do the first two together. When I went bankrupt in 1974, because I thought I was a hotshot I’d been trained by Bucky fuller I was building the wall street Racquet Club Botanical Garden, Xavier is in New York, I’m 26 years old. I’m on top of the world, but I’m building out a plastic PVC polyvinyl for a long time. Arabs came along so we can write checks so bigger banks a bomb so own bank grow so fast, I had to check a book of the library, how to go bankrupt yourself. And for six months, I’m sleeping in front of another guy’s room, because I asked because I didn’t know what I was going to do. But I’m in Hicksville, Long Island, New York and finally dawned on me, what I really wanted to do is talk to people that care about things that matter that would make a life transformative difference. I go to my three roommates in Hicksville, Long Island, New York and I ask I say Hey, you guys, any of you know a young speaker that’s not a lawyer, not a doctor, not a business person, not a celebrity, not a famous person. But young enough I can relate to that’s making money so yeah, this kid is a few years old or new. He’s out in Hong Kong talking to all the realtors this morning. I only think the bankruptcy courts have not taken it. Let me have a little beat up Volkswagen and I had to wipe the snow off the window. The windshield wipers didn’t work. Race out there. Get there. Watch this guy mesmerize the audience chip calls for three hours I go up to him afterwards a night with a little bit of timidity and fear. I asked. I said, Chip, Mark Victor hands, I’d like to take you to lunch, learn how to do what you do. He said, look at Jen’s you, Megan is one of the thousand you’re not going to make it. But if you stay out of real estate, I own the five boroughs of New York, I’ll teach you I do life insurance. Well, I did 1000 talks a year, the first three years. And then all sudden, they kept saying back to what crystal just said use it. I’m the story guy. He said I love that story. Kid, you got it in a book. So I did a book not asked but called stand up, speak up when. And I tripled my income that year. Because I said this isn’t a New York Times bestselling not a national bestseller. Not a best, not any kind of bestseller. But it’s my best self or was sent to you and your kids, and your wife and your dog if you want. And I sold 20,000 copies at $10 each. At $200,000. I was back on my feet again. I was feeling good. And then obviously, I’ve sold a few books since then.
Krisstina Wise [23:02]
I love it. I love your stories. And I think too, like if I if I am in a place where I want to ask I think that first feeling that comes in that stops me for asking is I don’t want to inconvenience somebody. I don’t want them to feel pressured. I don’t want them to feel uncomfortable if they need to say no. So it’s almost like I’m, I’m, I don’t want to ask to I don’t want to ask because I don’t want to inconvenience someone or make them feel bad in a way.
Crystal Hansen [23:27]
Right? Oh, I’m so glad you’re saying is because we looked at all the studies about asking others for things for help or assistance for information, whatever. And it showed that everyone going into the study felt the same way. Like I’m not gonna ask I don’t want to impose I want don’t want to appear pushy of notches, I don’t want to, I don’t want to appear that I’m ill informed or stupid, or, you know, whatever all of those things that go through our mind. But in in all the studies that we looked at, the opposite is true. Like none of those things that are rolling around in our mind that are preventing us from asking are actually true. If you just step out there and ask for something, you have an 80% more likely chance that you’re going to get your request granted in some way. That’s a huge, you know, huge advantage. I mean, there’s literally no reason not to ask, because if someone rejects you or says no, you’re just square one, you haven’t lost anything. You’re just still at square one and you’ve figured out you’ve polished or perfected your asking skills, right? So next time, you know, you’re going to reach someone that will say you might go through 10 people but like Mark, you might go through 144 publishers before we get one that will say yes, but if you stick with it, you will get where you want to be. And the thing I like to tell people is, you know, we as human beings personalize everything, you know, we’re all a little bit narcissistic. Like we all think it’s always about us. And when someone says no to you, or isn’t interested or whatever, it’s really not even about you. It’s completely about that. It really is like, maybe they’re just having a bad day, or maybe they really just can’t help you right now. Or maybe they’re so frazzled, it’s just, they’re not in the mind state. But um, you know, everyone’s doing the best that they can from their own state of consciousness. And it’s really not about you. So just keep asking, you got to just play your own game. And it really is, I think, if you make it a game and make it fun, and, you know, again, tap into that childlike beingness, that we all have still somewhere inside, it becomes a lot easier. And I want to tell a little story that’s in the book. And I love the story. It’s just such a good we have so many great stories that are great examples of how people felt that fear or, you know, everything, all the odds were against them, but they asked, and they just kept, you know, having greater successes or pivoting their lives or changing things dramatically. So this woman, her name is Lynn Marquis, and she came out of college knowing that she wanted to go into the nonprofit space, she loved it. So she right away, started putting together this camp for disadvantaged children as a summer camp, summer camp. And because a lot of these kids, you know, they don’t have anywhere to go in the summer, their parents can afford these wonderful camps. So she created a really great camp that was pretty long and extensive, and kind of expensive, so and she had to go out and get funding for it, obviously. So she was able to get an appointment with the richest woman in her city who control the large family trust. So she said the day that she showed up for this appointment, she was so scared. She was I was visibly shaking, it was so obvious that I couldn’t hide it. So she goes, I just fessed up and said, you know, hey, I’m really, you know, honored to meet you. And I’m just really intimidated. You know, forgive me, I’m nervous. And a woman, of course, was very nice. And she was like, Oh, you know, no problem. Let’s sit down and talk about what you have. So she sat down, explained the camp, how amazing it is, how much it was going to benefit children and all its shared all of her passion for it. And the woman said, Okay, so how much you’re asking for. And suddenly, she got terrified again, and she, she said, I was so terrified, I started stuttering. She goes, I’m asking for $5,000 because that’s what it costs to put a child through the count one child. And the woman said, Okay, well, how many children do you want to put through the camp this summer? And she said something like, 285 or something? And a woman goes, Okay, I’ll I’ll support them all. What? How much will that be? I was so stunned. She’s like, I don’t know, do you have a calculator to figure this out. But, um, the lesson and the moral of that story is so profound, because she was terrified to ask, but she did it anyway. And her needs were so mad, they were met so far beyond what she could ever have imagined. So we need to remember that, like, sometimes we just need to step on our fear and crush it. With some courage, it’s still gonna be there, but crush it with some courage to step on it, and go for it anyway. Because you don’t know when you’re going to encounter that person who is going to grant your request so far and beyond what you ever imagined. Yeah, wow,
Krisstina Wise [28:12]
that’s such a such a good story. There’s so much in that story as well. And, and I it when listening to it, it did take me back to that place. Also, what you said is, we have to be okay, being with the answer being No, also without feeling rejected, and that we don’t ever ask again. And, and like you said, not to personalize, it’s like, not the right time, not the right person. And, you know, no big deal that maybe it’s the next one, but to just keep asking, and, and then she was asking small to and there’s the lesson like to come in and ask for what you really want. And, and, you know, see what, what might be possible, please, maybe the woman wouldn’t have, she might have written that big check. But she might have only given given $5,000 instead of, you know, had she asked for everything. Wow. So I have a question. Is it different for men and women? That is it more difficult for women to ask in general, do you think or is it? Have you noticed anything? Just gender differences?
Mark Victor Hansen & Crystal Hansen [29:11]
I’ll go ahead. And you could even take that first? Well, yeah,
Mark Victor Hansen [29:14]
I’ll let you go first.
Crystal Hansen [29:15]
Well, I’m just gonna say I think it depends on the scenario like women are more willing to ask for little things, little things that take care of situations, you know, women are always trying to take care of situation. So when it comes to asking for like directions, or things like that, you know, just how to get things done. So everyone’s safe and happy and that sort of thing. Women will ask those sort of things, but I think for the bigger things, definitely men are more willing to ask for that for the big stuff. You know, he’s a great example. You know, they were rejected so many times with their Chicken Soup for the Soul books, literally 144 publishers turned them down. Now most people would give up, but he doesn’t ever give up. He’s just the book. This Oscar.
Mark Victor Hansen [30:02]
It’s true. And there’s a story that we had. What happened is we did everything we knew we wrote. And then we interviewed and checked out all the universities, Stanford, Harvard, Cambridge. But then we interviewed these 26 askers. And there’s a story that fits and answers your question, I think beautifully story about our friend Jim Stovall. STOVL is trained. He’s 19. He’s 18 years old. He wants to be an NFL player. He’s big. He’s fast. You can dirges gets recruited and chosen, and they do the medical and the doctor and a coach come back shaking her head and say, kid, we’re sorry, this terrible news, but you’re going to be totally permanently and forever blind in six months. And I’m sorry to tell you that but we’re not gonna let you play when it goes home. And he self incarcerated sort of like a lot of people are during this covid incarceration. And he’s got a TV and radio and television. And he’s complaining. And it’s an echo chamber negativity, which is a sidebar, we got to all shut off negativity. But the point is, is that parents say, look, Jimmy, get out of the blind meeting this, maybe they can help you it goes down. And that’s the same kind of echo chamber, but he sits with a woman who’s a blind stenographer, Kathy. And he says, you know, in the old days, I used to love to watch somebody throw a white book for us blind people, somebody ought to do something about that. Well, she asked the pivotal question of today, she hit him into Wu Wei, Jim, were somebody, why can’t we do something because I define an entrepreneur is somebody who finds a problem, fixes it scales it and makes a vast profit, which is legitimate and the right thing to do. And we need more entrepreneurs, more Business Builders, not less. And And sure enough, they create a narrative TV as a sighted person, you might not know it, but 14 million people pay $10 a month to be able to hear what’s happening in TV and movies. And they’re gigantic. And then I got asked, and the way I found out about Jim was a friend of ours write to me and said, Hey, I know you’re selling 15 million books a year, you haven’t got time to do anything. But you got to read this is going to be a book that changed your life called the ultimate gift. I was so wowed by it. I wrote the foreword, I wrote the afterwards, there’s got to be a movie. Jim got a movie as a result made 100 million dollars on a movie. So we interviewed him for ask. And he said, If I live 100 years, I’ll thank you in my prayers every day, you and crystal because I now write books that I can’t read. And I make movies that I can’t watch. And what it does, I’m gonna unwrap it from my point of view, and you’re allowed to give me yours. But is it? It gets us out of our pity party because you said you don’t know how bad it is because I’ve been locked on mm above. And all of us got that that kind of story. And you’re either a victim or a victor. And we’re saying hey, look, let’s do this transformative phase. And what we found out, Christina, is because we’ve done this now it only come up May when people buddy up with their best friend or their mastermind partner, their coach or their advisor or their teacher, their friend, and go through the aspect start to finish like crystal said, it’s transformative. And as you know our symbol because you read one millionaire, you can’t look at a caterpillar and predict butterfly. But we’ve all been in a cocoon. And when you come out of the cocoon, you become a beautiful butterfly. Well, the same thing happens after every depression America’s had in 1898. What did we do, we created four things the Wright brothers flew, a little guy named Edison created a little thing called electricity and movies, nothing important. Another guy created an automobile called internal combustion. And another guy credited Zelikow, you know, Mr. Bell, Alexander Graham Bell, the point is, we’re in that same time now, and we’re about to bust out at least that’s what we were chatting with you about before we began.
Krisstina Wise [33:31]
With that, I mean, just to kind of change the direction a little bit, but to to jump on what you just said, is in these times, right now, in the context of asking, people are quarantined, they’re, they’re locking themselves in, they’re not connecting, I just think human connection is so important in dialogue and conversation and, and asking in and getting out, like, just back and forth. So what do you guys say about that? I can just see there’s so much more depression now and anxiety and, and fear, and we hear just these some of these numbers. And how much of that is just coming out of this human need to ask and have a conversation and connect?
Crystal Hansen [34:12]
Right? I am so glad you brought that up. Because, you know, it’s been said a number of times, that the cure can’t be worse than the disease. And unfortunately, I’m afraid at this point it is has become worse because we shut our economy down, which just the devastation of you know, I’m, I’m a woman who put my last hundred thousand dollars into this salon and I have this great group of, you know, customers and all that goes away. There’s only there’s a tipping point where it’s over, right? I can’t keep sustaining. I can’t keep paying my bills, whether you’re a bar owner, restaurant owner, so many small businesses are suffering from that. And so, you know, the moral decay that’s happening right now. I mean, we’re just the morale is so low right now because people are feeling hopeless. How do you get over that and we’re not In addition to that, we’re not like you said, able to connect and, and brainstorm and talk with each other. So we’re saying, do whatever you can to get together. I mean, we’re in a state that’s relatively open up, and we’ve tried to stay open as much as possible. I think it’s really devastating, spiritually, and internally for human beings not to be getting together not asking each other these questions, just asking for your thoughts, asking for someone’s thoughts is so healing because when you start asking another person, something, there’s a bonding that takes place, and we’re not getting that bonding anymore. Human beings aren’t bonding. I mean, already before this started. We’re, we’re too disconnected. Anyway, with social media, we’re artificially connected. But in reality, we’re very disconnected. And so this is only made it worse. And we’re just encouraging people to get together, get together in small groups, even get on zoom calls like this and really have heart to heart talks. put together your mastermind, and we’re seeing a lot of people I can meet several podcasters have said to us, you know, can we get this book? Do you mind if we can, if we do masterminds, or like, book clubs on the book, and we’re saying, Go for it, go for it, discuss the principles in the book, we want everybody to come back. We need every bird but every person in this country to come back to life. And we can’t, you know, sit there and ruminate on the misery that we’re in. You need to come together, ask each other the questions come up with new ideas and start to form those plans on how we can come back as individuals as communities and as a country it’s it depends on everyone coming together and bonding in that way.
Krisstina Wise [36:48]
I’m so in agreement with that and and I see this sit back and wait like wait for this thing to be over versus No. Start asking questions. Connect, talk now come up with new ideas, create new relationships, like being an actor, the sit back and waiting for something to be over? Like, who knows, right? Like, we need to keep that energy flowing, that this type of energy and smiles and connection is sharing stories and, and asking more questions and but that’s it just feels like that’s almost dead right now that energy it’s and it’s sad. So
Mark Victor Hansen [37:24]
let me just give you the best example of somebody who didn’t get sucked into being stuck right in this cocoon. And that is a Elon Musk. Everybody knows what he’s done from Tesla Solar City to neuro link and all that. And I’m, I’m a great fan. I think he is the reigning genius of our time. But the governor of his state shut him down and said, You are not allowed to build cars, you’re not allowed do anything in free month, so shut up and be shut up. So he finds out we need ventilators and he calls up the head of three M and said, hey, look, I got 3d printing, I got all the metal, you could want to get the best engineers and we’ll just send me your architecture, we’ll share the profit. But I get these made. I’m going to meet overnight. Well, sure enough, the plan opens up but instead of just doing any builds 90,000 cars becomes a fourth richest man in America. And then today, I’m reading about them because I’m a fan. I’ve not met Mr. Musk yet, but I will. He’s in my mind and I’m sure will synchronize and diamond space. The point is, he says today I’m going to start selling 20 million cars a year. What does he want to do? He wants to get the world working again and do it in a better bigger, stronger way. That’s exactly what you’re saying. Instead of saying oh poor me and ended awful. He just figures out. Everyone’s gonna have detours everyone’s gonna have upset we call them roadblocks. You got to go over under a rendre through. But there’s always a way if you’re awake and listening to podcasts reading positive self help action books, like I’ve spent my whole life writing and listening to the audios and, and we’re just so excited to talk to great people like you who are willing to say, Hey, wait a second, let’s unzip this negativity. Let’s get out of it and go back to positivity and see how do we fulfill our destiny because if these people that are live watching us, we got to be pushing towards your destination you said in destiny to get out of depression. I’ve never put those three deals together. But that’s it. Because if you’re moving, you’re not depressed, if you’re not moving, you start involuted instead of ever looting and it just I’ve never thought about that fight that way before but and we see so much suicide now. Because we’ve been on all the podcasts with the top shrinks. And they say well, aren’t you one and I said no, no, no, I’m not a medical doctor. I’m a stretch. I do. I can just stretch.
Krisstina Wise [39:33]
Yeah, thank you so much. While there’s a lot there, and, you know, even it’s just it’s you know, that that metaphor turning, you know, lemons into lemonade, like the ideas for doing that to use this as a space to relate and to create and get out of the wait mentality and and start asking because that’s kind of the second follow up question to ask others is there’s asking like, what Hey, I need something thing are, Hey, can you make an introduction or, or I’m raising money. There’s those types of lists a business asks if you will. But there’s the at the reason I love being a podcaster is I get to ask all these questions and hear these amazing stories, right? It’s like, I’m the benefactor of so much amazing lessons and nuggets and inspiration and motivation, because I get all these great answers by just asking questions. So there’s what I find, too, that it seems like people just want to talk and Tell, tell, Tell, tell. And they’re missing the beauty and asking others and getting to know. And I just see that there’s, from my point of view, so many, if not a large majority is like, we just want to be known, like, hear me see me know me, ask me, but nobody’s asking. And like, what a beautiful time just to get to know make people feel special and important. Because you ask them because you actually want to get to know them. And talk about bonding and connection and the the feel good between both humans that I get to feel good because somebody else is feeling good, because I’m asking them to know them and knowing them as they’re so beautiful, this human being, and we’re missing it. And so anything to say to that, just like in using this as an opportunity to just get to know with no agenda other than I want to know you,
Crystal Hansen [41:24]
that is so awesome. And I’m so glad you brought this up, Christina, cuz back to even just if you look at the science behind it, um, people who like in business or personal relationships, ask a lot of questions about the other person to get to know them, those people are more likely to get deeper business connections, get more business as a result of it. And in situations in personal relationships. In a dating study that was done those people who did the asking exactly as you’re describing, ask, the more questions and even the probing questions, were like more likely to get a second date. And it is so important. Like you were saying, because when you start asking another human being something, you start to see a different world, you start to see their world and each of us has a really special, unique world. And we can learn from each other’s worlds, we can learn from each other’s universe, right? But like you said, and we there’s a story in there, by Preston weeks about asking in business, but and we do this in business, we do it in relationships, we come into scenarios, and we’re like, I’m going to tell about myself, and I’m going to say what I did, and I’ll tell you how great I am and how why you should buy my services and why you should buy my products and why you should love what I do and how many accomplishments I have. And it’s me, me, me, me, me, If you love me, okay by me right? By my stuff. And it doesn’t work, it doesn’t work in business, it doesn’t work in relationships. Because you don’t have a bond with that person there. You don’t have a trust any trust with that person. What bonds you to a person is when you finally understand that person, they will or that business or that because businesses are nothing but people it’s the people involved, right? So if you go in, and instead of saying this is how great we are here, and here’s why you should buy your stuff, say, tell us what your biggest pain points were these last six months, you know, so if we were able to help you in any way, what would be like the first most important thing we could do? What’s the second most important thing? You know, what? Are there any problems between your departments? Are you guys? Do you guys have a good workflow? Are there issues there, you know, learn about who you’re talking to before you can pretend you can go out and sell them something when you don’t even know who you’re talking to. And the only way you know who you’re talking to, is by asking questions. And then when you ask a question, we talked about this in the book? And the answer, you don’t change the subject and go on to you know, I’ve got my list of questions. Question one, Question two, question three. It’s like when they answer, find probe into that answer, and ask a deeper question. Okay, so you will get to know someone at a much, much deeper level. And, yeah, we’re so excited because I hope people will take this book and use it as a, a tool and a resource to come back and start doing things in a different way. And I promise you, the level of satisfaction you’ll have in your relationships in your business is going to be monumentally different
Krisstina Wise [44:40]
and how it felt hadn’t just the feel good in connecting and bonding of getting to know somebody. I mean, it’s two ways that again, I just see it’s it tends to be missing because we’re not asking to get to know and we’re not asking just for the sake of I want to know you because it feels so good to be seen. Hernan understood yet I think that’s the yearning. That’s the depression that’s so much of this one because the times are keeping us from connecting at all. And then added on to that, like you said was social and kind of this disconnected world we live in when we don’t feel seen heard or understood it just like ah then that all that other stuff starts to come on versus we feel more alive when we feel love and we’re loving others and we’re connecting and and again I just love to ask because it can only be created through asking.
Mark Victor Hansen [45:34]
So let me add to that is we said ask yourself ask others ask God let’s just go to ask God for a minute. What we’re saying is most people are disconnecting to God in them because they think going to church perfunctorily and conveniently and saying I’m a dis Rama that makes that in it. What we’re saying is before you go to bed at night, if you’re scared right now, ask yourself 400 times before you go to sleep. What God what is your destiny for me? What is my destiny? God, what is my destiny? God, what is my destiny? Because every one of us as crystal loves to say is four times over talented genius, skilled and ability but it’s at the deeper resources of your 18 billion brain cells. It can’t come to work until you really get in there. So if you ask what’s your destiny, and then tell your sweetie kids, Hey, wait a second, in the middle of night, I’m gonna wake up. And I’m gonna have turn on a light because I listen to mark and crystal and they’re nuts. Christina makes sense. She was wise because I don’t know about you. And you got to have paper ready and take notes and write down in detail. Whatever God in you tells you because everyone knows what your destiny is. It was coded. We believe that DNA and RNA was at birth, right? Like crystal said when you come in naked, ignorant and innocent. And what happens is, you’ve got all that but you’ve got to ask yourself a deep level and when jack and I needed the title, we did the same thing. It’s called a thought command. And we said mega bestselling title Megabus until the mega best selling done my best selling selling jack calls me at 258 mornings before cell phone so whole house wakes up and go oh my god and place on fire some. Let’s see he says chicken soup and I said for the soul we knew we had it like what you said a minute ago. It gave us God bumps goose bumps, chilli bumps, because your deeper inner Knower knows your higher self knows. And right now more than ever, we’re saying hey, look, you can’t look at a caterpillar we said and predict butterfly because you can’t see cocoon. And we’re all in this cocoon. So you said go deep. And the way to go deep is before you go to sleep while you’re lowering yourself to sleep. What God what is your destiny? For me? God? What is your destiny? Seems simple. Seems elemental? Seems like everybody should know it. But based on now having talked to 10s of millions people in these great podcasts around the world. Everyone’s saying, I didn’t know that no one ever told me that because churches don’t teach it. temples, synagogues, and mosques don’t teach it. So suddenly, everyone’s saying, Oh, my God, you’re holding up the mirror. So I understand what Socrates said his site individually. Know thyself, right? The whole deal.
Krisstina Wise [48:01]
Yeah. And that makes me think of, you know, just relating relationship and, and relating to my my relationships with I call Mother, you and my mother, you and I are very tight these days. But I didn’t even know that spiritual until I got sick. My, my healing was actually a spiritual journey. And going through that, to where, you know, I would recommend what I went through on anyone but it’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I had no spiritual connectivity until I had that experience and, and my own anecdotal story is, is kind of going through that near death experience. And on my deathbed, and I asked whether you I said I, I think I’ve learned lessons if I can get another chance. I’d like to teach these lessons I’ve learned here. And I walked away from my old career. I mean, completely walked away. And I didn’t know what was next. And I just said, just guide me, I’m asking for your guidance. I need you. I’m here to serve your purpose. And I just kept asking over and over and over. It’s not like it’s just like why knew right away, I just kept asking and asking, and before bed and different things. And all of a sudden, it just dropped one day. And it’s like, Alright, I got I know what I have to do. Now. I don’t know how I’m going to do it. I don’t know why. But and here we are today with I’m doing what I’m doing. But it was it’s that same relationship of like, ask God ask Mother, you and just in the ask is like, Hey, I’m here for your service. What do you have for me? I’m asking for your guidance. I’m asking for your direction. And I’m here to do that work. But it’s a whole different way of living life is to have that type of faith and trust and just but the app it’s in the ask, right? Because I think part of maybe again, I’m just thinking out loud here. But part of the reason why we don’t ask God we don’t ask ourselves, we don’t ask others. There’s almost this little thing in the back of our head that says it doesn’t really exist anyway, you’re not going to get it or what if you’re rejected or, or whatever that kind of invisible thing is, or it couldn’t be true. When we don’t ask others because we’re afraid maybe we’ll be rejected. That person will say no when quite the opposite actually, like, when I’m asked, I’d love to help. I love that when people ask me and I know that my genius or my purpose here can help others. It’s like, I’m so glad you asked, now I get the opportunity to fulfill. I think Mother, you are God, when we ask, it’s like this hopper I want to fulfill, I want to answer I want to be there. So we’re not asking this keeping this energy from flowing when we ask, it’s just this desire from the other side, say, Yes, I want to help. Isn’t there an ingrained something in us where we want to help? We want to make a difference. We want to make impact we, you know, we just don’t know where to offer that sometimes, unless we’re asked, am I kind of going this? Crazy? No,
Crystal Hansen [50:43]
you’re exactly right. That’s what human beings come alive, we have a section in the book called become a grantor of wishes. Because when we’re able to do something for another human being, our self esteem goes up, our hat levels of happiness goes up. That is proof that we are here to serve one another. I mean, it’s talked about in Scripture, you know, the greatest amongst you as the servant of all that these are, they’re really practical tools, like, just serve a little bit more, and you will find your levels of happiness, when you stop just focusing, focusing on Oh, I’m miserable, and I don’t have everything I want. And start asking the questions. start living in wonder, start wondering how you can be more of service start wondering and asking how you can express these amazing at unique skills and talents inside of you even better. And you know, I think a lot of people kind of stay away from the topic of like, God, I you know, we even get asked in on podcasts like, oh, what about people who don’t believe in God? And I say, you know, I think it’s because so many people were taught like, okay, you need to ask that they think of God is this, you know, old gray haired man and sky something far, far away. And, you know, God is is right here. God is the source of everything. When you think of God, what God really is, is the source of everything, all this beauty, all this wonder all this wisdom, all this love. Where did love come from? Right? It’s not in a rock. I mean, we’re expressing we are expressions of the Creator. However, whatever you want to call the Creator, it doesn’t even matter. You know, sometimes I say, my kids went through all these phases. They call me mom, mother. One One, my daughter, my youngest daughter came home one day, she said, Mom, I want to call you marmalade, Ned, from now. I’m like, Where did you come up with that? And I thought was so funny, of course, not only lasted this long, but it didn’t change my relationship with her. Right? So just what we’re telling people is get in touch with the source, there’s no way you are just this random thing that ended up here that you are full of love, you are full of wisdom, you are full of every possibility. And if you just say, I’m going to connect to the source, the creator of all of them, maybe I won’t, how can we ever understand that as human beings right? We have this, these human limitations, but if you just live in that little bit of wonder that I’m a part of something really amazing. And I’m going to tap into that. Whether you call it God universe, Mother, you universe, whatever, but it it really opens up every possibility because you are divine, you’re special. You’re amazing. And when you tap into that, you realize I’m not stuck in anything. I’m not stuck anywhere. Like the world is my oyster I just need to keep expressing in the most amazing way i can and keep asking the questions that will help me find what that is and ask others so I can bond to the right people yeah.
Krisstina Wise [53:53]
All and ask at the end of the day, what we’re bumping up against our time together Oh my God, this went so fast. So much magic. One other thing just you guys are a beautiful couple clearly and you obviously work together and live together and create together and and so what about asking between couples like what about marriages and keeping romantic relationships alive?
Mark Victor Hansen [54:18]
Well, let me go way backwards and say I went through a painful divorce and I wrote down 267 things I need my ideal thing I asked myself what is it that I want? We had the same values. We had to be monogamous. We had it she had to have our own money because I don’t want somebody marrying me for my wallet. We had all this stuff all of which I put in the 20th anniversary issue of Chicken Soup for the Soul so you can still get to book if you want to read all those things or decree. I see here something Yes, spiritual under we had the same spiritual values because what happens is at the front end we’re most most Forgive me but most people are sort of superficial. Say, I want that hot babe as a male and a woman says I want him tall, dark and handsome. Pretty superficial. Not bad. But it’s it’s a pretty superficial thing start to all sudden I saw her and I found out she was divorced also. And I thought, because I’d written it our kids, one of the 216 values were a little older so our kids have got to get along, otherwise it’s not going to work. And we’re gonna have to like each other’s kids, none of which I told her before we got married. So she’s my author, one on one. Somebody spills wine all over white pants in the VIP section, I break out of this throng of people Reverend’s. I know where the club soda is. We go to a restaurant and this is so cool. We get there and it’s the top restaurant in Hollywood and the lines forever and $100 bill won’t get me in. So we walk up and a guy sees her and seems that she’s got radiant beauty, self possession, charisma and wonder. But he says, Okay, I give up Who is she? And remember the questions the answer. I said, you don’t recognize her? nothing except steroid use go through People Magazine. He says, Okay, I give up Who is she? Now? We’re both Danish. I said, She’s a queen of Denmark. He starts and said, No, she’s not in us. And he said he is she is, who are you? I said, who travels with the king says, Oh my god, you’re the king. And immediately we had a table. See? And it’s all the question. And we were just teasing. But once we have the best table in the place, it’s a little hard to accept all the good. But questions are the answer and question will get you from where you are to where you want to be. But you got to know somewhere where you want to be. That’s why we use this subtitle, that bridge, your dreams, your destiny because we all have a great destiny, a wonderful destiny, an opportune destiny. And the destiny is not limited because of the five lockdowns, it’s because you’re supposed to do it inside. Oh, God in you has awareness.
Crystal Hansen [56:43]
Well, I just wanted to add to that, Christina. So every day Mark and I spend this like our like, the first hour a day in this meditation prayer, asking time, and we check in with each other, we ask the questions to make sure we’re on track, we ask the questions, to understand how we feel about things, you know, we we tend to get a lot of things coming at us. And so it’s like, Are we being pulled off our, our purpose? Or is this in alignment with our purpose? And we have to go through those questions and make sure you know, okay, so what is our purpose, what? And so checking in with yourself every, every day, like there’s, there’s nothing more important. Stop checking in with your social media and start checking in with yourself is what we say. And as a couple. It is so bonding. Because when you spend this time together, and prayer and meditation, and really setting your intentions, asking the questions, finding the solutions, and illuminations together, it’s a whole new level of intimacy. And we really believe that if people if couples did this together, every day and had this level of like spiritual intimacy, that there would be so fewer problems, so many fewer problems. And people would stay bonded couples would stay more bonded.
Krisstina Wise [57:54]
And right again, just back in the ask just yet, even if it’s like, Hey, honey, how are you today?
Crystal Hansen [58:01]
Krisstina Wise [58:02]
how are you feeling? Is there anything I can do? You know, what just all in ask man. Ask ask ask I think, you know, I’m gonna after this, I’m, I’m actually going to spend some time. Really, I mean, I’d say I might be a better asker than than the average person. But it’s I mean, I’m up to the challenge, I’m going to become even a better asker I’m going to be, you’re going to think about this and really be more intentional. So thank you so much.
Mark Victor Hansen [58:28]
We really want to help everyone become master asker. So we say, Look, you’re almost the only place you can get the book is on Amazon, you know, so get a copy of ask the richer dream, suggested Amazon and then go to ask the book club calm. And what we want to do is help people become exactly what you’ve just intuited. We want to create the Ask movement, the app challenge. So everyone becomes a master asking. So they have a fulfilled destiny.
Crystal Hansen [58:54]
All right, well, I’m up to the challenge. And I’m going to I’m going to with you know, some of my followers I’m going to, I’m going to see what we can do ask wise are there just like some master questions, as you know, we want to start as Master askers to get started. There are a whole bunch of questions in there. So I would say follow the book. It’s really such an amazing journey. And I start off the book with this fable that I wrote that just came to me and it’s pretty magical because it puts you in the mindset. It starts off with the fable of Mikayla and Michaela is it’s the fable set in the times of kings and queens. And Mikayla basically isn’t has been indentured to work at a stone quarry. And her job every day is just to move heavy rocks from one place to another in a cart. And so really, it’s the story of every woman and every man story essentially, because Michaela has lost everything she’s lost. Her parents one after the other. Then the bill collectors took her home away from her because she couldn’t pay the medical bills. So she’s sleeping in a grove of trees. And she goes home exhausted and she’s lost all hope she’s lifeless. She has nothing thing to really live for. And she just falls into an exhausted sleep in her grove of trees and the beam comes to her, she falls into it and starts having a dream. And this beam comes to her and takes her on this amazing journey and shows her this bridge, the sparkling bridge, and he said, that’s your destiny bridge. And the key is Michaela to start asking and never stop. And she wakes up from that dream. And she’s already feels something has changed inside of her. But she keeps remembering the admonition that he gave her to ask, ask and never stop asking. So it’s just such a beautiful journey to see how she starts to wonder about people how she starts to ask people questions, and then how her life and her destiny continues to unfold. It’s we’re getting a lot of amazing feedback just from the fable like, and it’s interesting, because guys, and men will call us and be like, I read the variable. And I started, I was crying and I had to go read it to my wife. And then I read it to my 16 year old daughter. It’s just, it’s so fun to for us and so rewarding to see how people were really moved by this because we see ourselves in this and we know there’s something better for us when we start asking. Absolutely. Alright, just
Krisstina Wise [1:01:17]
a couple wrap up questions. Thank you so much is answer me this first crystal, you say, Christina, if you really really knew me, you would know that what’s something that a lot of people don’t know about
Crystal Hansen [1:01:32]
you? Um, okay, so Christina, if you really, really, you would know, that I love finding the best in people. Like, I’m not about if someone’s in the Let’s tear someone down and criticize them. And this is not me. I just don’t you know, don’t stay in that space with those people. Because that is not me. I’m a cheerleader. for everybody.
Krisstina Wise [1:02:00]
I can so see that I see that. Absolutely. Oh, my goodness, I want you to be my best friend.
Crystal Hansen [1:02:06]
Krisstina Wise [1:02:10]
Mark Victor Hansen [1:02:12]
I want to make the world work for 100% of humanity and make it physically and economically successful. And just simple things like 4 billion people don’t have clean water and food. But I really think it starts with learning to read and educate them. So then they can start to study it themselves and taking themselves forward.
Krisstina Wise [1:02:27]
thank you. And you said something earlier to to piggyback on that is, is more entrepreneurs more small business, we need to help small business, we need to keep this economy going. We need to keep asking, we need to get out there and take action and move things and, and movement, like you said, so. Thank you, thanks, both of you for your work. Thank you for this book, thank you for your spirit, my gosh, this is what you you are what’s going to keep the energy going. So we can pull out of all this as quickly as possible. Thank you. So thank you for the inspiration.
Crystal Hansen [1:02:59]
And thank you, Christina, you do a beautiful job. And thank you for facilitating these discussions is so important. One final question. I’ll
Krisstina Wise [1:03:07]
ask them, Mark you first, what’s one big fat lie one big myth out there from your point of view that you would like to bust
Mark Victor Hansen [1:03:18]
that any of us are limited, we are actually born Unlimited, we’re born infinite because the line out of you punished.of abundance, he or she took abundance still a bunch from he can’t breathe in all the air you couldn’t breathe in and hold it. So we’ve got to have this whole cycle of giving which crystal talked about a second ago as a grantor of wishes, because once you start asking others are going to ask you and we’ve got to do the full circle,
Krisstina Wise [1:03:42]
grantor wishes again, Crystal
Crystal Hansen [1:03:46]
big fat myth that I’d like to bust is that I’m just particularly right now. And what came to me is this in this political environment that we’re so different, and we’re just so divided, we’re so different as people like half of us are this way and half us are this way. I think all of us are really very close to being the same. It’s just we’re seeing different understandings or have different information about how we think all of our problems should be solved. And I just whatever side you’re on, I just want people to remember to stop the hate and like understand that person is probably so much like you. You just have different understandings about how to solve situations and maybe on either side, maybe your information is not right. You know, maybe it’s not perfect. We’re all going on the information that we have, right. But fundamentally, I think we’re so much alike. Thank you.
Krisstina Wise [1:04:43]
What a perfect place to complete. Thank you so much for your time and being here with us today.
Crystal Hansen [1:04:48]
Thank you. Take care.
Krisstina Wise [1:04:51]
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What We Covered
“The highest value has got to be health. Because if you haven’t got your health, what the hell good is wealth because you’re laying in a hospital bed, you got a billion or 10 billion or 100 billion dollars, and you’re all tuned up, but you can’t move you’re useless.”
“I think it’s really important for people to read these roadblocks. So it’s unworthiness, naivete, doubt, excuses, fear, pattern, paralysis, disconnection.”
” We’re ducking and dodging and trying to keep the balls in the air. That is a complete illusion. It’s an illusion. The reality is your life experience is created right here inside of you.”
” Become a grantor of wishes. Because when we’re able to do something for another human being, our self esteem goes up, our hat levels of happiness goes up. That is proof that we are here to serve one another.”
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