Does everything happen to you or for you?
In an instant, everything could change for the better, or worse. In the unexpected turn for the worse situations, are you a victim of circumstance? Or, do you take your part of the responsibility, learn the lesson and turn that sour lemon into sweet lemonade?
If we wish to be healthy and happy it requires full accountability and responsibility for our life. Every choice we’ve made has brought us to the exact place we sit right now. No matter where we’ve been (good or bad) we’ve been the common denominator. This means — in almost all cases, we are the cause of the effect (outcome/situation) we are in at that moment.
Part of ‘adulting’ is to own our life and quit hiding behind lies and excuses. When things get tough, it is easy to fold under pressure. It’s simple to point fingers and blame someone or something else for the situation we are in. But, I believe our soul knows when we are bullshitting ourselves, and others — and, as a result — it defeats our happy spirit.
Today’s episode is about taking full accountability and responsibility for a horrific situation. And you’ll hear love, grit, perseverance, and climbing one’s way to the top from the very bottom. In this case, prison!
In this conversation, Keir talks about the lessons he learned in prison. How difficult it was to re-emerge into society when no one would hire him. Nor, accept his application to return to college. It would have been easy for him to sink into more darkness and lead a self-destructive path. But, through his determination and passion for wanting a good life, he beat the odds and now has a thriving 7-figure business. Keir now leads an amazing life ‘clean and sober’ with a mission to help addicts kick the habit through a modern approach to recovery.
You will love Keir’s zest for life and will appreciate his extraordinary accomplishments since graduating from a New York prison (yes–graduating. He says it was definitely a form of education!).
If you, or someone you love, have addiction issues — you’ll definitely wish to listen in!
Keir Weimer is an expert in entrepreneurship, real estate, and the Live Free Lifestyle, having founded and successfully led multiple seven-figure companies in luxury real estate brokerage, hospitality development, investment, lifestyle show and brand, and education & information, training, and event enterprises. He is also a #1 Amazon Bestselling author, a certified high-performance coach, and a speaker. He has a passion for taking early-stage, novel ideas to market and growing teams, cultures, and businesses around them.
We touch on many deep topics
- How To Handle Tragedy
- Extreme Ownership
- Life in Prison
- LifeStyle Architecture
This transcription was made by using Otter.ai so it is not 100% accurate.
Krisstina Wise [0:00]
Hello and welcome back. In this episode I interview Keir Weimer. I met here when he called me about enrolling in my wealth creation school. She was doing well financially, but in true pure fashion he wanted to do better. When I learned Keir story to that initial conversation, I was astounded. I thought I’d bounce back from a bottle or two, but kirs was from a whole new level. I’ve since had the privilege of working with here and during this time, I’ve come to truly admire him for his extraordinary business accomplishments, which are remarkable on their own. But even more so since his starting place was coming straight out of prison. And beyond his business savvy, I adore Keir as an amazing human and for who he is,. Yes, he’s a successful businessman running a seven figure business, but he has an even bigger mission. His personal ambition is to help addicts beat their addictions through a modern approach to recovery. A clean and sober care beat his addiction, and now he wishes to help others who are still in the struggle to be able to follow in his footsteps towards success and happiness, drugs and alcohol free. This is a profound episode, you may get teared up. And you might find yourself thinking Damn, what’s my excuse if Keir can do it from where he’s come from? I can too. And finally, if you or someone you love is struggling with drugs or alcohol, I encourage you to listen in. Please enjoy my conversation with here Wymer
Keir what a pleasure. So good to be here with you today.
Keir Weimer [1:34]
Likewise, really glad to be here with you, Krisstina.
Krisstina Wise [1:37]
Wow, I’m trying to I’m trying to remember how did you and I meet? Have we come across each other?
Keir Weimer [1:42]
You know, I think I actually became aware of you and your body of work through a podcast. I think you were on Mike Dillard podcast. And I’ve listened and followed him for a while and really enjoyed. You know, your time on there. What you shared resonated with me. And I think I then may have done a little bit of research. You know how you kind of do that. And then I think I reached out. I saw what you were doing, and then I got into your programs.
Krisstina Wise [2:05]
That’s right. Oh, my gosh, I’m good. Oh, Mike Dillard.
Keir Weimer [2:07]
Krisstina Wise [2:08]
All right. Well, I’m really looking forward to our conversation today, this is going to be a little bit outside of the norm of what you know, the wealthy, wealthy podcast typical types of yes, some of it will be in the norm. But But I really want to start I mean, one for everybody listening, I just I love you. I love your rebound. I love the just the self and human you are your Uber successful, what you’ve done in a very short period of time. And you know, there’s just so many elements of you in your life that you know, resonate with me to kind of big Wake Up Calls, and how it really shifts everything as you knew it, knew it, and then a whole trajectory of where your life ends up going. So for everybody listening, just share a little story.
Keir Weimer [2:54]
Sure. Well, thanks for saying that Christy. And I appreciate it. So I’ve had kind of a non traditional, certainly a typical story and my 20s were very challenging time for me. And I’m going to kind of maybe start and give kind of the overview of how my life went from where I thought it was supposed to be from what I thought school and teachers and parents in my own ambition thought was going to take me down a certain path and the universe and whatever else out there is controlling things had a different idea for things. So I was in college in 2006, I was a senior, Syracuse University College in upstate New York. I was with some friends and my brother up in a lake in the Adirondacks in the mountains of upstate New York. We had been out having fun, it was our west semester, we were about to graduate, we all had these big ideas for the future and our goals and our dreams for life. And it kind of all came crashing down when we got into a boating accident after hanging out, enjoying the day having some drinks. I was behind the wheel. And a friend of mine passed away. And several of my friends were very seriously injured and hospitalized. And Christina without going into detail, suffice it to say is the worst possible scene result outcome from what we thought was just an innocent day and night of hanging out with friends on a lake in the summer. And it instantly turned tragic and and my friend was gone forever and lives were changed forever and drastically. After that. It was very difficult to find a way forward. I was 23 I was trying to handle the emotions and the guilt and the remorse and the you know, the fear of what just just happened, what I was responsible for what was now ahead and how to even move forward through life after something like that. And it was the darkest time of my life. Needless to say it was very, very trying emotionally and as a result of the accident. I was charged with numerous crimes as I should have been One of which I ultimately pled guilty to because I was guilty of it, I was driving under the influence of having some drinks that day. And it resulted in a death of somebody. So I was actually ultimately sentenced at age 24. After I was suspended from school life was put on hold, going through the courts and all of that. I was sentenced up to six years in New York State Prison. And I was taken away from, you know, my life, my freedom, my family, and now forced to find a new way to live, forced to try to identify a new identity when I was simply now in mate number 078 6490. And no longer you know, Kia Weimer. So my life, my freedom, my everything was stripped as it should have been, I needed to go to a place where I was going to be punished, where I was going to be brought down, I was going to be forced to be self reflective and introspective and try to understand why this happened. And what I can do in response, moving forward, right, because when things happen in life, whether we cause them or not, we often don’t have much control over some of those events and less were directly responsible, like I was, but we are in control of is how we react and how we move forward and walk through life. After that, what lessons we pull what things we, we learned, you know, how that informs our character and our mission and, and the rest of our lives. So for me, it took me about a year of me in prison, going through a very comprehensive inpatient treatment program, getting really, really honest with myself and having a complete breakdown. For me to realize one night that hey, you know, this wasn’t just an accident, this was the result of poor judgment and decision on my part, this was my responsibility. 100% I have a problem with alcohol. You know, these things were hard and difficult for me to accept, it didn’t happen overnight. But when I did take responsibility and ownership for those things, those facts right,
the world started to open up a bit, I just felt a little bit of relief, I felt a weight rising. I that evening, I remember it was raining out I was you know, bawling. I was trying to find purpose and meaning I’m never been really religious didn’t grow up with it. But I was as close to believing in something as a higher powers I could at that moment. You know, I forgave myself. And I said, You know what, you didn’t mean to do this, you didn’t do this intentionally, you have a chance to make sure that this tragedy, this horrible acts, it doesn’t claim to lives. What are you going to do now with the rest of yours? And I challenged myself in that evening, to come up with an answer to that, and the How was really, really difficult to understand how am I going to live a better, more productive life purpose, for what give back contribute? Now that I’m in prison for the next up to six years. But I started to coalesce around my why and my desire to make something positive come from this. And every day since that day, has been positive growth, building, putting in the work, trying to level up every part of my psyche, my character, my life, how I show up the things I contribute to society to others, and do it in a way that’s intentional, that’s meaningful, that supports my why and purpose in this life, and really respects and honors my friends memory, who’s no longer here. And for me, that created a whole new way of living a lifestyle, if you will, and an approach to intentional living, to redemption, to accomplishment into really fulfillment in life that I don’t think I ever would have achieved on my own without going through this process. You know, I often say the accent was the worst possible thing that could have ever happened to us. But me getting sent to prison was actually the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Because it did all these things. It forced me to grow up to reflect, to mature, to find new purpose and resolve. And it forced me to do it in a really harsh environment, where if I could survive in there and find a way to live and, and, and grow in a place of extreme negativity and down current, that I would be positioned well when I got out, and that was my philosophy. So that’s what I did. I seize every moment of that time, my late father, who’s no longer here with us, unfortunately, told me one of the early times he came to visit me and he came here, my mom and my brother would come almost every weekend, and it was the support of my family and friends to get through that was absolutely amazing and critical. wouldn’t have done it without them. But he told me on that cold prison for I remember he said in the visiting room, he said, You know, I want to ask you to do something. I want to ask you to not count time, but rather make time count. And that stuck with me and it’s a quote and a mantra, if you will of living that I’ve really tried to embrace and I seize every moment in there to learn to grow. I read over 250 books the entire western canon. I wrote my first book in there I got into the best shape of my life. I was working on myself, my character, my relationships, even through pen pal Lake, it was, you know, 1930. And one of the biggest things that I learned in there was personal accountability, personal responsibility, and owning up to those things that are tough to accept about ourselves, our past our place in this world, and really getting to a point where we can own it, whether we like it or not, and we can learn from it. And we can choose a different path if we so desire. And for me, that was the turning point. That was the pivotal point. And now, this November will be let’s see, 13 years clean and sober, which I never thought I’d even be able to do a week or two, because drinking for me was so socialized, growing up in school, in high school in college, that I just wonder how am I going to do this, especially with a desire to go into finance and Wall Street business, I just couldn’t conceive it. But here’s the thing, the things that we can’t conceive, are because we don’t have the framework to do so right now in the present. But if we give ourselves space and time, we start to head down a path of changing growth, we start to create something called momentum, right in small incremental results, which start to create bigger achievements, which start to create an awareness and an understanding that maybe we could do this, right, maybe we could live differently, maybe we could achieve that big, scary goal. And all of a sudden, now it’s like I said, 13 years. So that has been the foundation of everything I’ve done in life, it’s informed how I choose to spend my time with who I choose to spend it, the partners, I choose to partner with the businesses I choose to form, none of this would happen. None of this would have happened in the last seven or eight years now, almost since I was released, had I not had that foundation of living free and clear from these bad habits, these behaviors, that problematic relationship I had with drinking, that also fueled my inability to really take ownership over my own behavior in my own actions. So that’s kind of the the four or five minute overview. I know there’s a lot there, Christina. But that’s, you know, now, fast forward here we’re about was released about eight, almost eight years ago, seven some odd years ago. And I’m just grateful for every day here.
Krisstina Wise [12:27]
Wow, there’s so much in that story. And I, you know, I’ve heard it before, and I just get goosebumps again. And you’re so remarkable in so many ways, just by listening to your five or six minutes. I and I’ve written down quite a few things here. One thing is, tell me. I’m just curious. Were you in prison for six years?
Keir Weimer [12:49]
No. So I ended up serving three and a half Christina, there was a credit for good behavior that I was able to get. But I was denied parole. So they didn’t let me out at the minimum I could have done was two years they denied parole said you have to do another two. So they sent essentially, it said four years. And then I got a little bit of a six month time credited toward the end there for good behavior. And so it actually became one from four to three and a half. But the sentence originally was two to six years.
Krisstina Wise [13:19]
Got it and tell me about like the day in the life during this three and a half years, like, Yeah, what it What did it look like? What did it feel like? I mean, how was it really? Tell me some of the dark moments, the scary moments? Or I mean, my goodness, right? Yeah, talk about a radical shift in life from where you were. And then where you on top?
Keir Weimer [13:37]
Gosh, you’re right. It was all of those things. I mean, the feeling was so visceral and so raw in there every day, every moment you’re just on edge. You’re it’s designed that way. It’s crowd control, it’s people management, it’s violent, violence, suppression, it’s all these things that this atmosphere is designed to accomplish. And the biggest thing it’s designed to accomplish is stripping you of your identity. You’re just literally a number, you don’t have a past, you don’t have a future according to corrections, you’re in there to serve a sentence for misdeeds and actions that you’ve committed. And for me, somebody who was super independent, who, you know, always liked to, to be out there and extroverted and be free and be able to, you know, do and think and achieve as I wanted or saw fit, was able to do much of any of that I had to find a new way to find purpose, right and fulfillment each day. Because they tell you when to shower, when to sleep, when to eat, when to go to exercise. There’s seven counts a day where you’re literally have to stand up in your cell and get counted to make sure nobody’s escaped. You’re up at, you know, 5:36am sleep by, let’s say 10pm. And you do it all over. It’s literally a repeat and a level of order and regimentation that I think far exceeds that of the military and again for a reason, right. There’s a decision into this. So the challenges for inmates is to find a way to within that framework of rigidity, of suppression of lack of creativity and freedom still find purpose, right? When you don’t have those things that you’d normally do, it doesn’t mean that they can take away your ability to dream or to think, or your ability to still be free of thoughts and dreams, to still have the freedom to create in your mind, and create with a few things you have there in possessions, and to be able to really work on yourself. So that when you do get a chance, if you do, to be released, that you have a new lease on life, and on your future, you have a place of renewal a starting point. And it’s just, it’s so tragic, because most people that go through this system, because it’s the way that it’s designed because of the lack of a support system at home, because of some of the socio economic pressures, often aren’t positioned for success often aren’t in a springboard position to really go and take the most from this, and oftentimes return to that, that cycle into that prison. So, you know, I was grateful that I was really, really intentional about how I want to use my time how I wanted to grow what I wanted to come from it. And I didn’t look at the my prison time in my 20s as being lost. I looked at it as a, I mean, I’m grateful to even be here, I shouldn’t even be here. So like, you better take, as my father said, Every moment and make time count, don’t count the days to your out, find a way to embrace every moment, and learn and grow and get better. And so that’s kind of what I tried to do.
Krisstina Wise [16:36]
Yeah, it’s interesting, you know, it’s, so many of us find ourselves in these situations that we didn’t choose, but they were the big wake up call the big backhand is that you can’t keep doing that. There’s, I mean, you’re paying a huge price now and the, you know, the price could be worse. And, and it’s like a forced reflection. It’s a forced change. And, and so curious, you know, and so many people, I mean, your crisis is holy, you know, holy shit. But so many people find themselves in a crisis situation and unchosen horrific kind of place. And then there are those that really bounced back like you that had, you know, turn that into purpose and greatness. And, and there are others that don’t. And I think it’s probably a majority of that, don’t that just kind of keep going not necessarily the prison system, but just life in general. What do you think? What do you think about you, that’s enabled you to turn this horrific situation on so many levels, to into a positive into purpose and into this ability to, to spring to look at this? Like, yeah, I needed that. And, and, you know, because of that, now I can be a better person I can make impact more lives. I you know, it was a great that tragedy is actually an opportunity that I can do good things in this this world.
Keir Weimer [18:02]
Yeah, no, and I’m grateful for that chance, Christina to help inspire others to help show them that no matter where we are, where we find ourselves. However, while we fall, it can always be worse, right. And I think my story kind of shows that in a way that it ended in the most horrible of outcomes, and thrust me into a new world of corrections in prison. And it was a really tough bottom to recover from. But I attribute a lot of my ability to do that, too. And this is more of a kind of an existential, larger macro conversation on this is whether or not some people are simply born with a certain in a trade or ambition or drive, and others aren’t. I don’t really subscribe to that. And I don’t believe that I think there’s an element of it in terms of our predisposition, right to do certain things in life. But I firmly believe that, you know, this idea of nurture this idea of the things we surround ourselves with the ideas we consume, the people that we have in our circle, in our life, our families, all of those things. Besides family, we can choose right, we can intentionally either put into our life, or remove. And for me, personally, in order to get to that mindset, that frame of wanting to pivot from that dark night, of accepting the reality of where I was, what I had caused, what I had done, and choosing to forgive myself was that I didn’t want to live in that pain anymore. You know, I knew that I wasn’t a bad person deep down. I knew that this was a horrible accident and tragedy, but I didn’t mean for it to happen, I would have done anything to prevent it. And I desperately wanted to give back in a way to make my life matter in some way. So I kind of look at this. twofold. I took the desire to make right the best of my ability. However, I could. An honor my friend’s legacy, coupled with my ambition to create something in my life in my future. In this world, as the things that mobilize this resolve this drive this, that this catalyst to really start to get energized to really start to lay out a plan to start to invest in myself, in my future, it was those two things that for me, really helped create that inner energy ambition to just not settle to not accept that this is my fate to not say that I’m going to be defined for the rest of my life by this accident. And by my time in prison, I chose not to let that happen. So I think, again, that was my story. But if people can relate in any way, it’s about wanting to simply choose be that the the decision maker of our life and our future, do we want something more? Do we feel we deserve something more? Do we feel we’re obligated for something more? I firmly believe I know, you’re a fan of this idea of existentialism and a freedom of choice, right, and autonomy in thought and action in this world. And I firmly believe that we have that meaning things happen to us, we create things in life. But it doesn’t mean that that needs to define the rest of our lives, meaning we’re in the driver’s seat, right, our past does not have to equal our future. And for me, when I realized that the entire world opened up.
Krisstina Wise [21:15]
Yeah, thank you. You know, there’s something that you said the word you said quite a few times, actually. But responsibility, accountability, you said, I deserve this I created this me going to prison was that’s what was supposed to happen. Yeah. You know, how much do you think is kind of, you know, looking at this difference between I kind of see, like, not these these types are written in stone, like you said, we can always choose to change it. But it’s kind of this mindset or mentality of the victim. I’m a victim of this circumstance. And I’m not really responsible, because XYZ that you know, finger can be played, you know, that can be pointed anywhere. Yeah, the boats fault or something, you know, or, you know, you where you’re just like, no, I caused I was the cause cause and effect, I’m responsible, I need to face that I need to look at all these things that cause this undesirable situation, this tragedy, and own what I own. And, you know, first and so how much do you think is, is you like owning up to that, like, this is really shitty, and I deserve it. And I’m responsible. And I’m still and I’m responsible for what’s next?
Keir Weimer [22:32]
Yeah, I think that was probably one of the foundational things, and elements of my turnaround, my redemption story, whatever you want to call it, where I am today, from where I was, Christina was That was my listening to everything out there. This could have happened to anybody was just an accident. No, it wasn’t right. Like, I still cost this. And so when I took full ownership over that, and got really accountable and real with myself, again, it’s like, I was still in prison. But the shackles just like, flew off. And I was just free. And I felt so good. I felt lighter, I could think clearer, I could start to come up with like, Oh, my gosh, I can actually see the end of this. There, there will be another chance, I have another chance because I’m giving myself another chance. So I think a lot of us no matter where we are, I feel like we can’t fully achieve our potential. We can’t fully achieve fulfillment, abundance and success. Until we tackle that one big thing. There’s always something big, right, that needs to be addressed. That needs to be tackled, not cowered from not worked around, not like kind of like hesitant, you know, and hesitant approach, you know, going after, we have to directly confront the one big thing in our lives, that’s holding us back. The one big thing that will not allow us to elevate to the next level to achieve our dream life, our potential until it’s removed. That can be a fear, that can be a bad relationship. That could be a personality flaw. That could be a circumstance that we had no responsibility whatsoever in creating, but we still have a responsibility to get out of it. Right. Whatever it is, I feel like people often have that and it stays with them in life. And until they conquer it. They’re not really able to get to that next level. So for me, it was this it was personal responsibility, and it was my relationship with alcohol and party.
Krisstina Wise [24:41]
Yeah, so I know your success. I know how you your pivot, share with everyone a little bit about just what is your success today you you are like incredibly successful and you’re just still at the beginning of your ambition and your dreams and what you plan to do. But yeah, like that. That’s where that’s where we were like, starting 13 years ago, but it’s just been a few years since you’ve been out of prison and really, your life. What have you done in this short period of time?
Keir Weimer [25:09]
Yeah. So it’s actually crazy when I woke it, like, it’s not been that long, although I did get a little bit of that. You know, like when you certain he had certain dates or birthdays, and then you’re like, Oh, my gosh, you have this little like, mini meltdown? Well, I had that. I just turned 37 a day, probably no, that’s crazy. But I had that. And I said, Oh, my gosh, I’m not where we want to be in life yet. Oh, my gosh, like, sure we’ve done some cool things. But I’m almost 40. Now I can’t say I’m really mid 30s. I can’t say early 30s might get away with mid 30s. But then I pulled myself right at Joel to myself, like to our point and said, Hold on a second time is all relative, right? Like, dude, you got to be easier on yourself, what are you? What are you talking about, be grateful for the things you have done. And for the chance you have every day to do new and exciting things. So when I did that, it started to get me off that little bit of a weird, you know, one day kind of meltdown and get to a place of gratitude, right and being so grateful for having the chance to even do some of these things. So in the seven years since I was released, boy, it was tough. The first two years, you know, I was still on parole, I had no car, no license, living at home broke, you know, inability to date who’s going to date me, right? I started in a sales job completely 100% commission as a real estate agent. I think you know how hard it is as a first year real estate agent without my past. And now you add my pass you layer in not having a car. It was challenging that first year, I made zero money $40,000 in debt on credit cards, family loans, advertising, marketing, pulling my hair out what’s going to happen. But the 13th month my first property sold, the next one sold in that second year, I think I did 10 million in sales. And all of a sudden I went from not filing of tax return literally ever. Because remember, when I went away, I was 23 till when I’m 30 I found a tax return and it put me in this high bracket I got audited the next year because really who is this guy is not even on our radar. And so that was kind of funny. But um, you know, those first couple years were equally trying in their own way. You know, that first year when I was on parole, I got denied from all graduate schools, I applied to another massive law I had to work through, which was I thought, My path reintegrating into society, my future was going to entail going back to school, going back to what I knew, and what I was good at going back to academia, place of, you know, new beginnings and creative ideas and forcing Well, turns out the cold reality is none of them wanted to let me in knowing what happened and making that a central part of my application. So seven schools, I was denied to go get a JD MBA. So I’m sitting in 2013, whenever that was reading that last denial letter, thinking to myself, Oh, my gosh, what am I going to do with the rest of my life. And I decided at that point, another critical turning point was I need to be an entrepreneur, right? I need to be accountable to my future. I can’t let other people decide if I’m like worthy enough or good enough or capable enough to do something because I know deep down I am. So when I chose to be an entrepreneur, I get a massive weight lifted. All of a sudden, I started to get more energized and mobilized I took that event. And I ran with I started to chart out how I was going to get hit, right the how always changes over time, right? My y was super strong. And I just knew that I was going to not settle, I was not going to give up on my dreams, I was going to create a big life. And over the ensuing four or five years, I’ve started several seven figure now grossing companies in the areas of luxury real estate, a real estate investment company, hospitality, brand and development firm. We have Boutique Hotels and Resorts, we’re adding about one a year now. And I have a couple other small companies. And then the multimedia company, which is my my baby, my passion, which is where we’re, you know, really taking everything I’ve learned in, you know, the areas of real estate, business, personal development and growth, living free and clear, right and achieving our best life and career. And we’re helping other people do that we’re helping inspire them, we’re helping equip and train them. And we’re giving them actual tools and resources to do that, to achieve those things. So that’s probably what I’m most passionate and excited about. And we’ve talked about this. But real estate, for me was a stepping stone a means to an end a means to financial and freedom, of schedule of, you know, where I want to be, how I want to work, how I want to structure my life in the future. So we’re very doubted on that, especially from the investment development side. But I’m really most excited now about how I can take this story, this message, the things I’ve learned the failures, the successes, and help other people help impact them help mobilize and get them ready for their best year in their best future.
Krisstina Wise [29:44]
Yeah, so let’s segue into a little bit of this. I mean, we’re, we’re approaching Well, right now as we’re recording this, we’re approaching the end of 2020. It’s been quite a year for for so many people, right? I mean, talk about just all sorts of Wake Up Calls and awarenesses that This has brought forth for everyone I know at least. And with that, I mean, I’ve been just kind of privy, I guess, to hearing so many really terrible stories when it comes to deaths with overdoses. I’ve never really heard, you know, in my own circles, I’ve never really had that experience. And it’s just been I’ve heard several deaths this year from overdoses, lots of alcoholism, and just drug addiction. And it just seems I don’t know if it’s always been there, but maybe COVID just brought that awareness to me. And how much like just how powerful addiction is and how many lives that it? It owns and takes over and the struggles what causes with the family and again, even death. So do you mind segue a little bit what, like addiction, like talk about addiction? What is it your own addiction? Sure. And you know, just what you know about this from your own experience? And with the work that you’re doing now?
Keir Weimer [30:54]
Yeah, no, thank you. That’s a great topic for us to talk about. It’s such an important one. And with all the different things that are going on in society, right, in families, with how even before the pandemic with the mental health issues that our population of society and people across the world are still struggling with, right, not getting the proper care and the solutions, and then have the pandemic hit is the first year our opening act of the decade. I mean, come on, right? Like, can’t we catch a break, everybody was so excited. And then boom, two months into this year, the world changed forever. I think what that did is hypercharged a lot of things stressors, anxiety, financial concerns and troubles, work home relationship balances and issues. And what that’s done now is it’s really spiked, the usage of substances, negative, destructive substances that people sometimes use to cope with things like anxiety, stress, and not being able to socialize in a normal way. So drug use, alcohol use, tobacco sales, porn, social media viewing times. And sadly, as you mentioned, overdoses from some of the most extreme substances like opioids, painkillers, and other things have really gone up this year. So we’re at kind of an inflection point, a critical point where we, as a society, I think, really need to better address this to be talking about this more openly, and in my opinion, to be offering more solutions than what we have been in the past, which is traditionally a very clinical approach to addiction, right? Well, clinical and religious. So you’ve got a lot of 12, b 12, step based programs, which are based in a belief in God and religion and a higher power, whether it’s a groups, outpatient groups, Na, all these different groups, which are kind of that community fellowship based, religious based 12 step program, then you’ve got maybe in the middle of the spectrum, some one on one counseling, right, maybe some group counseling, more clinical more about licensed therapist approach or social worker, that in the extreme end, when things are really bad, we’ve got detox, we’ve got inpatient rehabs, we’ve got facilities, retreat centers, things like that. So there’s this whole kind of spectrum of treatment. But what has happened, what I’ve identified and realizes that there’s not been much innovation in our approach to solutions, and our approach to talking about this, and then our approach to really lifestyle engineering, lifestyle, by design, I like to call it. And so what I’ve tried to do in this new program, and company we’ve just launched called the Winfrey lifestyle is do just that, shake up the space, create a new way of thinking and architecting our lives in a way that’s free from all of those bad habits, behaviors and addictions, that allows us to really be centered in our life, to be more aware of what’s happening to be healthier, to show up better for our relationships to be more productive, and have a higher level of performance in our careers. And to be more successful overall, in doing it, without sacrificing fun, without sacrificing an ability to have a great time. It’s simply removing those negative substances, those negative behaviors, hitting it at the stimulus, replacing it with positive things, positive activities, other things that allow us to still move forward, to have fun to achieve our goals and to not be boring. So you know, in my life, that’s what I’ve kind of done. And now it’s taking all of that, that system of living that philosophy and living and really codifying it. systematizing and creating a program, I guess a system really, and a community to help empower and show other people how to do that, too.
Krisstina Wise [34:30]
I think I heard that, you know, with let’s say more of the traditional programs out there that I’m going to to 90% relapse, right. Like it’s only 10% where, you know, the it sticks to a clean and sober lifestyle, so to speak. And in witnessing some of this, you know, fortunately, you know, I’ve not, it’s, you know, addictions like that’s not impacted my life. I grew up with an alcoholic father, but he just chose one day to quit drinking and that was the And but after that, you know, just been lucky in a sense, it’s not been really much of my current environment over the last, you know, 20 years or so. With that said, you know, recently again, I’ve come into contact with your really during COVID. And I found it interesting. And let’s say can more of the traditional a type. And again, this is just my own observation, I could be totally off base here, like, what do I know. But it’s almost like the a is a substitute for the addiction itself, where a now is, it’s the be all end all that relationships and everything else come way down below, because a has to be front and center. And everything’s organized around that. So when I, when I’ve observed this, I thought, well, that’s great, in a sense, that clean and sober, certainly better than all the destruction that comes out from not being clean and sober. You know, when you’re an addict at that level, at the same time, everything appears to still be second, third or fourth down, like relationships, or, or anything. And so I just thought, is it just trading one addiction for a healthier addiction? And is that really why maybe the relapse? Or you know, I don’t know, meaning, hey, this other addiction feels a little bit better? Who knows? But is there any truth to that? Or what do you say about some of these kind of, like you said, more, they’ve been obviously very successful and helpful, and thank God, they’re there. And just there’s still a lot of limitation there that is, you know, not really solving the core problems as to why they’re in the first place.
Keir Weimer [36:34]
Yeah, I liked it. I appreciate you bringing that up. And I agree with you on that, I think they can. And they do create a lot of good in the world, these groups, they help a ton of people. And that’s great. But it’s also not for everyone, right? It doesn’t resonate with a lot of people. And particularly if you’re not very religious, if you’re agnostic or a tissue, just don’t believe in whatever this thing is, that’s called a higher power and turning over all of your will, to something else. That was hard for me to do. I tried, I really did for months go into these couldn’t quite get there. And that’s literally step one, to take it through step one turning over your will to a higher power, how do you get through the rest of the 11? Right. So for me, I knew I needed to find a different way I need to create a different system. And I think a lot of other people are realizing that too. The problem is, there’s not a lot of choices out there. There’s not a lot of other systems. And what I don’t like about the 12 step based the age groups and those types of treatment options. And again, this is not disparaging. It’s just it doesn’t work for me and a lot of people is that they’re inherently rear facing, that are focused on the past. They’re focused on what didn’t work. They’re focused on telling stories and talking through group therapy, and discussing all of the trauma that they’re drinking or drug use created in their lives in the past. Furthermore, they make you identify immediately as a drug addict or an alcoholic. I don’t like that. I think that’s horrible. I think our identity should not be attached. And we shouldn’t lead with that. Hi, I’m Kira, I’m alcoholic, I could never fully say that I forced myself to say it. But it didn’t make me feel good. didn’t make me it didn’t work I didn’t identify with it didn’t resonate. And I think a lot of people feel the same way. And it’s for this, we shouldn’t be defined, again, by our past, we shouldn’t be defined by errors of judgment, or what I call errors in thinking of our past, we should acknowledge it, we should take responsibility for it, we should make amends and changes. And we should move from it right, we should start to pivot and turn our focus to the future. How do we want the future to work? How do we want to create an architect a life that’s meaningful, that’s healthy, that’s free from that way of living in that lifestyle. And those groups didn’t do that, really. So I think for a lot of people, that’s an inherent stumbling block, that’s an inherent inability to really get results from that type of environment. And the problem is, then a lot of people go untreated with this, because they don’t fit in there. They don’t feel that it doesn’t resonate, it can’t get behind it. They don’t want to either pay the money or have the stigma of going to a counselor or a one on one. So oftentimes, they’re not getting the help they need in the spectrum, or continuum, because use of substances is often progressive, especially we have an addictive personality. They don’t get help until it’s too late. And all of a sudden, boom, they need detox or rehab center, it’s getting mandated by an employer, they’re gonna lose their job, their wife or significant others gonna leave them. They’ve lost money because they gambled it all away, or their kids are about to not talk to them, right, whatever it is. Now, it’s gotten to the point of no return. There’s a way to help people though, right? Earlier, so they don’t never have to get to that point. They never have to get to that horrible bottom or God forbid, have an accident like I did.
Krisstina Wise [39:48]
Yeah, you sent a big word there that that you know, I spend a lot of time really talking about and thinking about, you know, over the years, but you said the word identity you know, and You know, identity is so powerful. It’s the IM statements and, and we can be an ayat we can change the IM statement right now if we wanted to. So, you know, I just think when we’re looking at behavior and fulfillment, the difference between saying, Hey, I’m a smoker that doesn’t smoke right now, today. Yeah, I don’t know about tomorrow, but today I’m a smoker this choosing not to smoke, as opposed to I’m a nonsmoker. I used to be sucker. You know, if you’d asked me a year ago, I’d say I’m a smoker, but today, I’m a nonsmoker. And I’m a nonsmoker from here for forever out because this doesn’t fit into who I am anymore. And I’m a nonsmoker. Because I’m going to, I’m going to design my life and live my life around a healthy lifestyle that does no smoking. So it’s it’s just it’s even, it’s To me, it’s radically different on how it sets us up as I’m a smoker who’s not smoking today, because of X, Y, or Z assessment. Nope. Starting today, I’m just a nonsmoker from here on out. That’s my identity.
Keir Weimer [41:02]
Yeah, I love that. And that’s so powerful, because that is, like you said, it’s choosing to be something else, it’s choosing to live differently. And it’s being in control of that, holding that not giving up that power. Because when we continue to identify with things that are negative, right, that term is just inherently negative. And it reminds us constantly as a stimulus of the things we were doing and how we were living in the past that we’re trying to avoid. So why would we keep identifying ourselves as that person who happens to be in a one day remission? We’re just not drinking or using today, right? I don’t like that at all. doesn’t work for me, doesn’t work for a lot of people, I agree with you. let’s identify with a positive persona. let’s identify and lean into who we want to become. Let’s create our life in our future, the way that we see fit. And let’s embrace it, let’s call it arms and legs to grasp it and on it.
Krisstina Wise [41:50]
Yeah. So if I’m listening to you, what I hear is, and correct me if I’m wrong, but you’re you’re not saying I’m, I’m a I’m an alcoholic, or I’m an addict, who’s choosing not to drink or some form of that, what I hear not even close, like you just don’t even identify that what you do identify us, like, I am planning sober, and I have this great life and I choose to live a life that’s clean and sober, because I’m clean and sober. Without saying I’m an alcoholic, or an addict, you know, I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s totally liberating in a way, like, hey, you’re just and you’re clean and sober in all aspects of life, the way you live, to where you think the way you operate the way you love. It’s, it’s a clean and sober lifestyle, because I’m that,
Keir Weimer [42:30]
exactly. And I’m living it and I love it, right. And I can still do that and do the things you just said, and still take 100% ownership over my past and over the reasons why I’m doing this, but I don’t have to associate with the negative parts of it anymore. I can learn from it, I compartmentalize it, I keep it here, I pay it, the respected needs, but I can still be something different, right? And so for me, it’s identity, persona, positive affirmations, all that is so critical to our well being right, our psyche, our, our our success, and our ability to move forward to pivot to maybe climb from something into something else. So I couldn’t agree more with that.
Krisstina Wise [43:12]
Yeah, and just a little bit more on an identity before we kind of changed direction a little bit. But just I didn’t again, in general, it’s, you know, one row listening to this, it’s like, what are our identities? Like, what are these Im statements that we’re really attached to that may not be serving us anymore. You know, addiction is something obviously, that’s something we want to let go of for like a bad identity for obvious reasons. But I think if things for example, have I had an identity for a long time that I was a marathoner, and so everybody identified I identified with myself with a marathoner, and everybody else identified myself with that. So it’s like, I couldn’t ever stop running marathons, even though I was kind of done with it. Because what what, who was it? Who would I be if I’m not a marathon? Or what would you think if I’m no longer, you know? And it’s just kind of realized one day like, I used to be a marathoner, and if you’d asked me a year ago, like I’m a marathoner, but now it’s like, I’m not a marathoner. I’m something else now. And it just felt like that. And it just dawned on me at that moment. And like when people said, Hey, how are your marathons? It’s like, Oh, you know, my last one was this. And now I’m on to Xyz. And, you know, I didn’t associate with some failure, or something that I wanted to hold on that identity for some reason, even though I wasn’t identifying with it anymore. Yeah, it just caused me in that moment, I had my own like, realization like, Oh, I get to choose my identity today, I can change my identity with myself. And then with that, you know, how that kind of portrays out right this moment, I can do that any day, like, who I was last year is very different than the Christina this year because I identify with me differently and the I am statements. So again, I think it’s just a really important thing, especially time of year and reflecting and interviewer and COVID and all these different things is what I am statements do, we just want to let go of and we’re Place. Yes.
Keir Weimer [45:01]
And this is such a good time. And thank you for saying that. I love that story. This is a great time for us to do that. Because this was a tough year of transition, finding new paths, maybe recreating our career, reimagining and conceiving how we live and work, how we socialize. So this is a great time to do that. I implore and challenge everybody to do that, and to re evaluate those statements that we’re telling ourselves in our head out loud, or when somebody asks you what you do, right? Or, you know, what do you like to do? For me, I the same type of story without going into much depth, I had trouble transitioning away from just being a luxury real estate broker to doing all these other things. And it was hard to pivot that model on that front. But I did it finally, but it didn’t happen overnight. It wasn’t easy. Because that’s that was like how I got my start. That was how I was done. That was my biggest brand, so to speak up till then, was as that identity that persona, but here’s the thing, we evolve, and we grow, and we do new things. And to do that we have to sometimes let go of old things.
Krisstina Wise [46:00]
Yeah. And that every part of life is a stepping stone to what’s next, you know, that we can learn from our mistakes. And, and we can kind of congratulate ourselves for the accomplishments of that was that stepping stone that lily pad that now is where I get to springboard to the next lily pad or the next stepping stone, this next period of my life of who I am and what I want to do or accomplish or who I want to become. So I love that. And you said something else too, that even wealthy wealthy, you know, I say wealthy, wealthy, it’s a lifestyle architecture brand. And I think that’s missed. And you said that word you said lifestyle architecture as well. Yeah, I think it’s important, but I’m really curious. I mean, I think I’m asking an obvious question. But how much of it as a missing piece? Do you think of so many lives that people are just drifting living day to day and, and getting through and hoping things will be better, as opposed to full out designing a future that we want to walk into with clarity? And it will we may, it may take a different direction? Or not quite look exactly like that. But how important do you think of Hey, this is like strike style architecture. This is how I want to design my life. This is my ambition and my dream, and then work backwards from here in today’s my first day to start moving in that direction.
Keir Weimer [47:17]
Yeah, no, I couldn’t be more. I don’t know why more people don’t look at their careers, their lives, their health, and their personal finances, in the same way with the same intention that they do a project at work, right, or something else, where you’re helping somebody else build their business and their business, their vision, right? We need to realize that ultimately, nobody’s going to do anything for us in life, right? Like we’re not owed anything like we are the architect. So whatever we do, and put out there is what we’re going to see reflected in return. So you know, we have a chance, no matter where we’ve been, what we’ve been through, or where we are today, to still be in that seat for the rest of our lives. And we only get one chance at this. So let’s go after our dreams, right? Let’s create a bold vision. Let’s then architect the plan, which I know you teach. And I do too, on what is the strategy to make that a reality? What are the resources I’m going to need? What are the new skills I’m going to need to learn? Who are the people I’m going to need to network with? How am I going to uplevel all of that to achieve that goal, but we have to be willing to dream and think big first. And then to get tactical and strategic on creating a plan, mobilizing resources, etc. And then the one of the biggest things for those two, right is action. We have to be willing to put in the work each and every day, be disciplined, committed, and realize the great things take time to build
Krisstina Wise [48:33]
that. So so well said and a great place to, to bring this to a close. I like to ask these questions of all my guests as we come into home base. And the first thing is, is say, Christina, if you really really knew me here, you would know that tell me something that most people don’t know about you.
Keir Weimer [48:55]
Hoo, boy, I wish I thought about this ahead of time, let me think something you don’t know about me. I’m a prolific reader. And I really love to write I always have, but I’ve gotten even more as I grow. And I get older, I’ve gotten even more focused on just putting great ideas into my mind and actually reading more fiction, not just self help, not just personal development, not just nonfiction, but finding ways to escape in a nice way and enjoy something that’s not just a Netflix show. So I’m a big reader. I love reading and I’ve written a couple books obviously I love writing too. But you know, being a student of the world is something I really cherish and value. And I think a lot of your listeners can relate to that and probably are as well, not just being a student of our craft but being a student of the world meaning other things other areas, other backgrounds, other ethnicities, other cultures. You know art history, just history in General Military History. I love all these things and I read a lot about them because they they keep me entertained. They enrich and educate. And they also create perspective, right? They create perspective in like where we are today. And a lot of what we have to be grateful for. That’s also why I love to travel because we get that as well, that perspective of our place in the world in this, you know, chaos of the cosmos, right and the interconnectedness of the other universe. It’s been hard to do that these these days, though. All right. So
Krisstina Wise [50:22]
tell me I mean, we know the big, tragic failure, but in the last few years, as you’ve rebounded, you’ve built your businesses, you’re obviously very successful. And you’re making lots of zeros right now. But what’s the kind of what’s a big bismil failure? That that’s been kind of a like, Whoa, now that I know that I wouldn’t do that again.
Keir Weimer [50:41]
Yeah. Okay. That’s a great question. I would say. And I learned a lot of this I’ll tribute to you in your course, which is, when you have a couple big successes earlier, wherever, reinvest those in either your business if your business owner in reliable assets, and stocks that are bonds wherever they are, but things that are appreciating assets. And don’t just raise your lifestyle, don’t just buy big toys, don’t just invest in things that are depreciating that are causing debt that are creating more payments. Because what I did is after I had a breakout year too early in my career, I bought a bunch of stuff. And I realized a few years later, that boy, I would have had a lot more in my investment fund and my retirement fund. And I just invested some of that. And furthermore, when you look at the time value of money, and how much time helps us grow wealth, the just taking three or four years away from what it could have been by depositing that and not just jumping into material things to reward a success. I kicked myself but you know what, I don’t stay down on it. I just learned from it. And I realize I’m not going to do it again. So I’ve gotten more conscious about my lifestyle, with your help with other people’s help with reading and educating myself with bringing on a personal CFL with having a system of personal finance. And now I’m excited because I’m building a plan to really, that’s very realistic to achieve through my life at different milestones. And I’m excited about it. So what I would say is invest early successes into your future, not into your present.
Krisstina Wise [52:14]
So well said, Okay, so on the flip side of that, tell me something, you’re just a brag moment with something you’re really proud of right now.
Keir Weimer [52:25]
I think I’m just proud of, you know, being here and being able to be on a conversation with you, being able to be proud of what I’ve created in response to, you know, in the aftermath of this horrible tragedy. I think achieving three or 13 years, excuse me of sobriety for me has been everything that’s foundational that my entire life and who I become. And I’m really grateful for my family, and the support they’ve given me over the years, I wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for them, and my close knit group of friends, so I think gratitude really is powerful. And when we can lead and with that, it becomes contagious too. But it also just gives us more meaning. And I think it allows us super ambitious people to slow down a little. And to realize that time is just that, like it’s gonna go on. Tomorrow’s another day. Let’s still enjoy the things we have. Let’s be grateful for them because we’re very fortunate. And I know that I am to.
Krisstina Wise [53:21]
Well, that’s that’s timely since Thanksgiving is just right around the corner right now. So, again, wow. Okay, one final question that I like to end all my podcasts with, and just to do a big myth bust. So what’s a big fat lie that you’d like to bust from your own vantage point?
Keir Weimer [53:38]
Ooh, all right. didn’t really think about this one. So let me just first into my head, is that might be a little abstract. But I firmly believe again, and if this podcast and this story and art conversation is a testament to it, our past whatever came before today, this moment, does not have to be our future. We have a chance and an obligation, in my opinion, to live our dreams every day, to pursue greatness to achieve freedom, however we define it, and to live, an architecting create in this world, things that we’re proud of things that we can be grateful for things that contribute to the narrative of humanity as we grow, as our societies evolve, and as the world continues on. So our past does not have to equal a future. It should inform it should educate, and it should inspire. But we have a chance and an obligation to really do our best to tackle that big thing to remove it. And to go after our dreams, our vision for our lives with a commitment unlike we’ve ever had. And I implore and I empower and I hope everybody will do that will start making their plan for 2021. How are you going to come out of this tough year? What are you investing in your mind in your future? How are you going to be in that driver’s seat because 2021 has a potential to be the best year yet for a lot of different people coming off of a very challenging era transition.
Krisstina Wise [54:59]
Hello Just goosebumps all over again, here, I adore you, thank you so much for your time. I mean, you you inspire me every time I talk to you, I just I get inspired by you and your work and your commitment. And for everybody listening and I’ll be Make sure to link up. There’s like I said, there’s a lot of addiction going on. And like you said, there aren’t a lot of resources for help. So anybody that’s listening, that that knows anybody, we’ll make sure to look at the show notes. And we’ll link up to your programs and different things that you’re doing and your books and and if anybody just wants a little dose of inspiration, you know where to go.
Keir Weimer [55:32]
Oh, well, thank you, Christina. It’s been a pleasure. I’ve really enjoyed our conversation. Thank you for having me on the podcast.
Krisstina Wise [55:37]
My pleasure. Thank you. If you enjoyed today’s show, there are a few things you can do as a way to say thanks. First, simply hit the subscribe button to the wealthy, wealthy podcast. By doing so it helps both of us, you’ll never miss an episode and it helps me and my radians. Second, if you’re so ambitious, please leave a review while you’re at it. Third, just keep doing what you’re doing and continue to share the wealthy wealthy podcast with your tribe of friends and colleagues. On another note, although you likely listen to the podcast one remote, keep in mind that there are links to the guests and their work in the show notes that you can find at WWE podcast.com. You can also find a WWE podcast calm the latest information on my upcoming events and other things I’m creating to serve you in our mutual quest to live a wealthy wealthy life. Thank you so much for listening. See you next time.
What We Covered
[2:40] Tell us a story of who Keir is
[12:05] So were you in Jail for 6 years?
[12:57] Tell me about a day in life for you in prison.
[16:15] What has given you the purpose and drive to take the circumstances dealt to you to redefine who you are? What made you not give up?
[20:52] You talk about accountability. How much of your success is due to owning up to what you are responsible for?
[24:20] Tell everyone what success you have been able to achieve since you got out of prison.
[29:24] Tell us about addiction and how it was running your life.
[35:39] Are some people trading one addiction for another addiction?
[39:27] People can build an identity around addictions so how do you break the cycle?
[41:30] So you are identifying as living a clean and sober life in all aspects of it without labels.
[46:07] Let’s talk about lifestyle architecture that’s a passion of mine.
[48:24] Krisstina if you really really knew me you would know that?
[50:00] Tell me one of your biggest failures.
[51:52] Tell me something you are very proud of achieving
[53:05] What is a myth you would like to bust?
“For me, personally, in order to get to that mindset, that frame of wanting to pivot from that dark night, of accepting the reality of where I was, what I had caused, what I had done, and choosing to forgive myself was that I didn’t want to live in that pain anymore.”
“Acknowledgement, personal accountability, responsibility, I needed to slay, if you will, the giant in the room, the elephant in the room. For me, that was my problematic relationship with alcohol. That was my unwillingness to be accountable. That was my making excuses.”
“They’re focused on what didn’t work. They’re focused on telling stories and talking through group therapy, and discussing all of the trauma that they’re drinking or drug use created in their lives in the past. Furthermore, they make you identify immediately as a drug addict or an alcoholic. I don’t like that. I think that’s horrible. I think our identity should not be attached. And we shouldn’t lead with that.”
“It’s choosing to be something else, it’s choosing to live differently. And it’s being in control of that, holding that not giving up that power.”
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