#192 – Second Chance On Life W/ Matthew Korban

This transcription was made by using Otter.ai so it is not 100% accurate.

Krisstina Wise [0:00]
Hello again and welcome back. In this episode I interview Matthew Corbin. Matthew is a fifth degree black belt, an eight figure business owner and a certified life coach. He works with successful business owners who find themselves totally out of balance and as a result, find themselves successful at work but failing in other key areas of life like health and relationships. I love this interview, I completely resonated with Matthew and that he liked me nearly lost his life by living out of balance for too many years. He’s another example of trading health for wealth. His near death experience and being what he calls a second lifer put him on his current path is sharing the life changing lessons he only realized after facing his death head on, there’s so many aha gems that he shares in this conversation. He talks about how we start our business ambitions from a place of purity. But how quickly that turns to pride from which destructive patterns ensue. He shares how expectations start to control our life robbing us of the beauty of being in the present moment. And how he offers his process discovery pivot lunch as a way to break from the domineering success trap. If you feel stuck, lost, overwhelmed, frustrated, and are anchored and anchored and completely out of balance you’ll wish to listen in, please enjoy my conversation with Matthew Corbin. Matthew, welcome to the wealthy wellthy podcast.

Matthew Korban [1:20]
Thank you. Thanks for having me.

Krisstina Wise [1:23]
All right, well, I was introduced to you through a podcast service that finds my show and matches me up with guests who think that would be a really good guest on the wealthy, wealthy podcast. And I’m I when I go through this, I get sent, I get sent quite a few actually. And then out of all the numbers that are sent to me, I only really choose a small percentage and, and I choose those where their story or their expertise for something really resonates with me, therefore I think will resonate with with my listeners. And what I’m what what I want you to do is to share a little story. But before you do that, just who you are, and what brought us to this point. But why I chose you is I think we sit we share very similar stories. And really just being in the grind being in the success and achievement game being where work is everything putting the rest of life on the sidelines trying to get there, and then wound up on our deathbed. And being on that deathbed changes everything I know it changed me completely pivoted my life to where I’m doing what I’m doing right now where I walked away from the old life and in completely rebuilt a new one and live my life radically different than I did when I wasn’t aware that I was in that life before. So I think you sir, share similar stories. So please tell us about you and, and just a little life story and what brought you to the place where we’re sitting down having this conversation together.

Matthew Korban [2:46]
I thank you, oh my god, I’m so excited to be here. And I have a lot of stories to share. First of all, I’m Matthew Corben, certified health and life coach. And I’ve been doing this for only four or five years. Before that. I was a business consultant, I had my own company, I worked all over the world. And I think it could be part of my story, why I changed. And I can say that my friends and the people who know me, they still wonder and ask me how come you gave up everything. Just to become a coach? How come you gave up a an empire that you built over more than 25 years and just became a coach and you’re coaching people? And I think you said something very important that that moment the needle experience changes everything. And it gives you a new purpose, a new way of looking at things and then it’s what we’re did for to me.

Krisstina Wise [3:52]
Yeah, yeah. So tell us about what was the business before? And what was the pivotal moment? What was the life experience that puts you on the bed where you’re kind of looking at yourself? Because we hear these stories? I mean, you know, we’ve heard it over and over and over that on your deathbed, you’re not going to be wondering about the sale you didn’t get you’re not going to be thinking about you know, how many zeros are behind your name, you’re really going to be looking at different things. So we’re told that and I guess I don’t know, I guess maybe we think it’s not going to happen to us, or we’ve got plenty of time. And I know for me, I was in that type of narrative and I can tell you I can tell everybody listening and I think you can do that on my deathbed. I didn’t give a damn about any of the material possessions I had, I didn’t care about the achievements and all those awards that were you know, plastered all over my walls. I really was just looking at my life looking at the sacrifices I made and the relationships I didn’t nurture and the the health that I gave up I traded my health for wealth and and just looking at those and all I wanted was time back. All I wanted was my health back all I wanted. I just wanted to Do over, you know, it’s like I want to do over and it’s just so grateful that I got the do over and it sounds like you did too. But tell us about that moment of You know what, what did it What did life look like before and what happened?

Matthew Korban [5:12]
You said it so so so right. I think that moment. Let me before I tell you about this moment, let me tell you why I got to this moment and how I get myself to this moment. Because I mean, it’s not by chance. I think I’ve been planning this moment, my whole life. But I didn’t know any I mean, only if I knew. Let me start from the beginning the day I was born, because I believe as a coach as well, that the early childhood programming affects us big time now. And the reason why Whatever happened to me happened, and we’re going to talk about it now is because of my childhood, I guess. So I was born in Beirut, Lebanon. And that was in 1976. And why I mentioned this day because it’s when the big war started. So the first 13 years of my life, I changed maybe 10 schools, and I saw more than four houses burn that we used to live in. And I used to remember that, that that image, so so so very well in my head. I was six or seven, and I was running with my mom and the sister and older brother. My father wasn’t around his traveling, he was traveling. And I looked over my shoulder and I see our house burning in flames. And I still see it until now. So under the age of 13, I was running away who were hiding in shelters, we were basically running for our lives. I don’t have any pictures, any memories, anything like in pictures or anything tangible in my hands, because everything was burned, everything is in my head. But Funny enough, we used to have fun. And the fun game we used to do. As you know, we were kids, and we wanted to play and have fun. So we used to sit in shelters, and the shelter was like a small room. And we’re over maybe 60 or 70 people. And mostly kids because women will usually are planning or cooking or doing something and men are trying to sneak out to get us water or food or anything. So as kids, we were guessing some numbers and the numbers were at 1901 10. And Funny enough, these numbers are the caliber of the cannons that were hitting us. And we know it we know that that’s 110 caliber 50 miles away. And we’re kids. So anyways, I left club and on. I went, I left to Europe to Switzerland to France, I got my education. And I started working. And when I started working, I knew that I was going to have a family eventually because I love family. And I didn’t want to give my kids and my family the child of that I that I had. So I started with the pure objective.

And in one of my

cut concepts or theories I’m writing in my book, I talk about the shift from a pure to a pride. And it starts with a pure objective. And this has started with me and I guess with everyone before we start having all the pride and nurturing our egos with with the with the with the

as I’m getting there.

I’m not gonna bring steps. So

I saw working and for the first five years of my life, I remember the HR of the company I used to work for it was an American company based in Dubai, and that was based in Dubai. He called me over he said, you’ve been with us for five years, and you haven’t taken any day off.

And I thought it was something nice. No, it’s

like yeah, you see it’s an achievement.

So I worked basically for over 2025 years, more than 1718 hours a day. And for the last 10 years, I when I did my own company and my own Empire and I was I was handling clients all over the world, even governments and consulting for everyone. I was living out of suitcase on a plane. By the nowhere I would land I had no home I had nothing i was i mean everyone was this was just me me saying God, you keep on traveling You’re lucky and deep inside. I wasn’t happy because I didn’t have a place to go to at the end of the day and call it home. My family we’re here in Ohio where I am now and they live here and I was all over the world one day in Dubai the other day in India the third day booth we just fly wherever clients Wherever deals are and whenever there’s something impossible, I would pitch in and and challenge myself to do it. And honestly, I was enjoying the being the end and the center of attention. I was enjoying being on cover of magazines, I was enjoying the zeros in my bank account. And this is the shift from the pure objective that I had that I’m doing everything for my family, to the pride. But it’s me. I remember one day I came here to Ohio to celebrate Christmas with my family and my youngest child, James, he was he was maybe four or five. I left after 24 hours. So here on and he grabbed on to my foot. And he said, Please don’t leave that. Please don’t leave. I said, I have to leave. I work and I get money. This is why he live in a nice place. So he said, Wait, he ran to his room. He came back with his big bank, doggy shaped piggy bank, and he gave it to me and he said, break it take all the money and don’t leave. And I mean, now now I’m seeing it and have of tears and tears me. But back then I looked at him and I told him you don’t understand. I’m doing this for you. And I just left. And wow. I mean. So yeah, this was the whole thing. And I started getting fat. And I’m fat. And although I was fit and a martial artist, but I even abandoned this for a while. And then because I didn’t have time for anything. And I wasn’t eating healthy. I wasn’t living healthy or snacking all the time, I was going to every dinner every boat party everything just to close deals. So I reached a place where I was over 400 pound. And yeah, I was a semi. So I went to a doctor one day and before that before that I was having some some real health issues and my wife was always telling me you need to see a doctor you can see a doctor you fainting you becoming all yellow, and are saying no, there’s nothing sometimes I would fall I’m walking in or just fall and they start like eating sweets and stuff just for my for my so I can send up again. And I kept saying no, no, I’m fine. I don’t have time for this. I have meeting here I have meeting that I don’t have time for this. And one day, I want to see this doctor, this famous doctor in Beirut, Lebanon, and they have the best doctors and the best hospitals there and it’s affordable. So I went there. And I saw this this doctor and he said the I told him, listen, I can’t work and you need to do something with the medicine. Just replace, replace my knees, put something some robocup stuff knees or whatever you want to do. And you know, when you’re on this level, like it’s amazing how we become arrogant, and how we see the world from a different perspective and how people start looking at us in a weird way. And we just don’t care when we lose our our human side and our compassion. And they feel ashamed of myself of being there. Because just not I remember myself how I was and my friend is now telling me Oh, my God, look at you now. I mean, you’re a different person. So my doctor said,

Yeah, sure, let’s let’s let’s put you on this.

On the test, let’s do all kinds of tests and stuff. So he did all kinds of tests. And it took him a couple of hours. So I woke up after a couple of hours. And I was on the table sister on the bed. And he said and he had his hand stretch in my face in front of my face with his five fingers stretch in front of my face. And I was like, I was still waiting. I was like, What is he trying to do? He’s trying to be funny. He said to high five me and I was like, I don’t have time for this doc. I’m not gonna have five years. So is it done? He said no. Can you count my finger? Okay, yes, five is another thing count and stuff. And he said, yes, these are five months you still have to live. And he was like, What? Wait, I don’t know you. You’re not supposed to joke with me. He said I don’t joke. It’s, I’m a doctor. Okay, he said you have five months to live you have a severe inflammation in your organs and your spleen is has has total failure and your whole blood is poisoned. And that’s it. I understand you’re very successful businessman. You have your money and everything go spend your money for the for the next five or five months. And it hit me and I was like, What? No, no, no. So honestly, at this moment, the only thing that kept me going is just the thought of my family, the voice of my kids and my wife and and and why no. And you know, the faith. I mean, I used to have faith I still have faith Now I do but at that point when I was working you forget about everyone, even even God, even even your family, everyone, you just want your, your bank account to get fat and fat and you convince yourself that you’re doing doing it for other people, and you’re not actually. So I looked up, I said, God, I’m sorry, I forgot you all of these years. And this is how we are we forget, we forget you when we’re doing good. And we remember you when we need you. But you’re good. So don’t leave me now. And I promise you, I’m gonna repair this. I’m gonna do it differently. And our make everyone proud. And I look at a doctor, I said, I’ll take the operation. He said, it’s a 5050. I said, I’ll take it. He said, you sign a paper. And you call you you have a family. So I said, now call my lawyer only. And if I wake up, I’ll go to my family. If I don’t, then too bad, man, I’m not gonna come back. I’m not it’s too late. Plus, I feel ashamed. So I took the operation. And that moment was the pivot. That moment was the most important moment when I was laying on the operating table. And those five seconds before the doctor puts the thing on my face and counts till five and I got sleep. Those five seconds seemed like like, like five years, maybe. And doing these five minutes. Excuse me five seconds. I had a flashback. I by so everyone that I didn’t do anything towards I saw every relation I didn’t nurture. I saw. I saw my whole life personal life on the sideline, I saw my I didn’t see any deal. Honestly, I didn’t see any pitch. I didn’t see anything. All I saw is just my kids, just my friends. Just everyone around me caring about me and me acting like total jerks who’s my French, and just caring about about myself only mean these five seconds were Wow. And I remember I saw myself on the table. And I looked at myself on the table. And I was afraid. I the fear I felt and I was fearless all my life. And that moment was scary. I mean, I was afraid I didn’t want I want to grab on to life. I don’t want to let go. And I said no, I’m not, I’m gonna fight with everything I have, I’m gonna give up everything. And I want to start over. I mean, just give me that second chance. You know, I woke up after eight hours of operation of operation, they removed all of my organs. And it took me over a year to recover. And until now, I can’t operate. Normally I can’t eat most of the stuff. But I’ve adapted I’ve

lost weight 160 now.

So and when I woke up, I called my partners, I called my accountant. And I said liquidate my shares, I don’t want my empire, I don’t want my company, give it to charity, give it to everyone. I don’t want anything. I just want to go back to my heart to my house to my home to my family. I want to sit there I want I will do something. I don’t know what, what what I will do now. And I didn’t know what to do. And I went back home. And I sat for six months alone in my room feeling ashamed and not knowing what to do. And honestly, sometimes it would just come to my mind and say, go back to your company go back to Empire, you know, every CEO in the whole middle east and Dubai and everywhere because this is when I worked mostly just go there and do it again. Because this was my comfort zone and I wanted to go back to feel alive. But I did not. I just kept on fighting this. And one day my wife went came into my room and and she said, You know that throughout the whole 2025 years of working and I’ve known you said yeah, he said, You know that a lot of people who worked with you they still call you for advice. You know that? every friend we know they come to you for help for advice. I said yes. She said maybe this is what you’re meant to do. Maybe you’re meant to help people because you’re good at this and you love doing this but and it struck me I was like yeah, yes. So I started researching and stuff and I went back to school. I got certified as a coach. And four years ago, I started coaching people and I started I started reaching out to to people who were me my old version and I knew them and they know my story and I started coaching them and I feel so blessed. I was able to help a lot of people and I I’m still honestly I’m not as wealthy as I was before, but I discovered that I mean, being wealthy is not having a big fat bank account. I mean, yeah, you want to be at peace and you want to have peace of mind and want to pay your bills and stuff, but you need to have a balanced life. And this is the main thing I do in my coaching is coach people on being balanced and balanced their lives.

mean the whole,

the whole, my whole life has been a roller coaster maybe. And I’m settling now, I tell people, when everyone started at a very young age, I’m starting now in my mid 40s. And it’s already hard for me, I’m moving to a new country. I am speaking my third language as English. It’s hard on every font, but we have to make it happen. We have to fight hard. And I’ve been blessed, I’ve been given a second chance.

Krisstina Wise [21:08]
There’s so much in that story. One, I mean, I was all these emotions for coming up and one just hearing your story. And then like I said, it just oh my god, I just, I feel exactly what you felt like I was exactly there in your story. And in my own and, and I love what you said as far as going from pure to pride. And isn’t that so true that we are purely motivated, but then it becomes the ego game, the achievement game and, and it’s like this, this game that more is better. So no matter where we get financially, or with the Empire, it’s just never enough. And I call it getting stuck in the never enough game that you think when I get there, then then things will be balanced or, but you just get in this pattern where it’s it just it controls you thinking sometime in the future, I guess I’ll be a good father a good mother or get my health back. But it’s just this weird. Like, what is that energy we get stuck in where it just doesn’t stop. And you and I had this similar place where we really traded our health for wealth, and got the wealth but there was never a stopping point. Until we’re like taken out like what is is it a cultural narrative? Is it like what is it that takes us from pure to pride? Is that the accolades that we just start feeling good about ourselves and, and keeps us in that type of nonsense?

Matthew Korban [22:34]
I think so. I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s, I think, so it’s satisfying our own egos. I mean, it’s she’s good, then you want more and you want more. And the scary part is when we start making excuses for ourselves saying, I’m gonna stop when I achieve this and that, and I mean, I remember waking up to the word not finding my father around, because he was away traveling and working and always living on a plane. And I always remember, I mean, I remember one day I was nine years old, and he called, and I said that one, when are you coming back home? And he said, in two years, son, I’m doing something and in two years, exactly. I’d be home and you’d be 11. And last time, I asked him this question maybe a couple of months ago, and he’s over 70. And I said that when are we gonna see you? You know, I have my son as a teenager. He’s 16 and my other son is nine eight now he’s nine. And they barely know you when you’re gonna come and see them. And he said every couple of months and it never stops. It never stops. I mean, some people I don’t know, I know what it is. But this is why I think we are here as coaches or mentors because we need to to help these people realize that there’s much more than wealth and career I mean there’s a balance in life and we need to maintain our balance

Krisstina Wise [24:06]
well not the joy and happiness is in the right here right now. It’s not out there somewhere you can’t chase it you can’t go by it you can’t it’s an any special moment between even the moment that we dance or share here there’s just so much special get to know this other human and spend time and be grateful for this versus that chase energy is what I call it that there and chase energy. So when you say you know we’re such a product of our universe childhood programming for me, mine came in grant you know, before I hit like my breaking point, it’s like yours being on that deathbed. Mine was my childhood programming as I was never good enough. Like my parents were never around, you know, and I mean, I was a super achiever. So I was just became this super achievers, a kid just to try to get attention straight A student and a great athlete. And, you know, I mean, I excelled at everything. But my parents never showed up. They were never there. And then that would became my adult programming. But no matter where I got, I was just trying, I think I’ve my entire career became, look at me look at me, I’m somebody important and special. And that’s what gave me I got that from all these external praises based on the more successful I got, the more praise I got. And it was all that childhood need that I, I was never got, as a kid, it’s been at the same time she was getting that, like you said, it felt good. But my family was being I mean, they were kind of they were not the priority. And my health wasn’t a priority. And I was completely out of balance. And, and so I know that that I had a break that programming was your programming, that your dad was never around. And that was the story. And now all of a sudden we think his kids, we’re not going to repeat our our patterns, or the patterns of our parents, and now you’re becoming your dad. And that just was that natural thing like, oh, Dad’s not home?

Matthew Korban [25:52]
Yeah,

so it’s so true. I mean, I know what you said is I see it a lot. Actually, I’m coaching a couple of amazing clients and, and they have this thing, and I realize something, and I have them with something. And I’m sure you know what are at the end, and you’ve seen it that when would this happens to us, and when we try to be brilliant or outstanding, because back when our kids were weird enough, we never stop and look at ourselves, we always see our seven the eyes of other people. And this is the wrong thing that we shouldn’t do. We should look at ourselves, we should sit set a vision for ourselves, we should have a destiny map and we should have we should see where we are the progress we’re doing and stop seeing our seven the eyes of other people.

This is this is I mean, this is the key thing for me.

Krisstina Wise [26:48]
Yeah, I mean, I’ve just I have that moment in my head of your son grabbing you know your leg and getting a piggy bank, you know, it’s, and then we still walk away. It’s just fascinating, that, that we do these things and, and so I know like on my on my deathbed, it was just this wake up call where I look back on my life in the works, I think in and what the hell and there was just so much shame and remorse and guilt and like, how, how did I even do that, but then it was the reshaping. And the story like yours is, is I mean I, I’ve made a promise to Mother, you that Mother, you if you give me another chance, I promise I’m going to walk away from the bullshit. And I’m going to teach what I’ve learned on this year of fighting for my life. And these lessons that came up and it sounds you know, similar thing and walking away from the Empire, turning my back on the old life, which was the scariest thing I’ve ever done in my life. And I didn’t know what it’s going to do, either. I didn’t know. And it’s, it’s a scary place to think you’ve had all this success and all this money and all this fame. When there’s just like nothingness. It’s like just this white canvas of like, holy shit, I have no idea what I’m going to do next. But I’m just going to keep putting one step in front the other and just in but what I call that, and I’d like to know your thoughts about it. It’s we create these identities of who we are, like you said through what other people think of us. So it’s, it’s who we are. It’s hard I did my identity was that. So if I’m not that, who am I? And what am I? And that was this void of like, I don’t know who it who I am or what I am if it’s not that, and that became this miraculous journey of figuring out who I am and what I am detached from any achievement or success or accolade. And what is this purpose that I’m destined to be? And it’s not like this bright light came off. And it’s like, why it’s just really discovering it. And it sounds like you really went through a similar journey of just this. Holy shit. Maybe I should go back to what it was because this not knowing is really, really uncomfortable.

Matthew Korban [28:47]
It is. Absolutely Yeah. I mean, it’s it’s it’s a bumpy road, this, this transition is very bumpy. And you get tempted to go back many times because I mean, just like you said, you were good at what you what you’re doing, and you have your bio, have everything and just want to go back. And I think this is human nature. We like our comfort zone and we defend our comfort zone. And this is why we make excuses whenever we’re doing good. Because this is our comfort zone. We’re happy we’re doing good. I mean, it’s some broken, why fix it, I’m gonna keep on doing what I’m doing. And I’m gonna just make some excuses and just carry on and carry on and carry on. And this what happens and then when I remember just like you said, this, this fear this transition period, for me was what was scary. I was I was feeling void. I was feeling blank. And it’s like, What do I do? I’ve been I’ve been I mean, I find a million covered consultant for for over 20 years. I have my company I have 288 people reporting to me. Now I have no one and I can’t even boss my wife. She was me. Yeah, it’s it’s scary. But then when you When you’re really discover what you want to do, and you start doing it and and you find that you’re really good at this, and this is your purpose, this is the best thing ever. It’s this aha moment, it’s this moment that makes you smile. When you put your head on the difference. I tell my wife this, I said, Before, I used to put my head on the on before I sleep on, on the on the pillow, and think about the deeds and what to do tomorrow’s. And I used to have a notepad, next one, but sometimes I wake up and write numbers and stuff. Now I smile, and sleep and go into deep sleep. And this is the difference.

Krisstina Wise [30:36]
It is and now like once, I would never go back to the lifestyle. And so it was painful to see people that are stuck in that and it’s so obvious now versus before. I mean, it clearly it wasn’t obvious at all. But yeah, part of it too. It’s, you know, I think because of this and the lack of awareness, we’re in that we complicate our lives. And the more complicated is, it’s like I’m doing it for the money, I’m doing it for you, son, or wife or whatever, to have all these things in a certain lifestyle and complicate, complicate complicated. And that really the beauty of life is in the simplicity. It’s in the space it’s in, you know, they before I was just so stuck in the velocity, how fast I could go and how much I could do. And now every once in a while when my life gets a little bit more busy, let’s say, and I start bumping up against that type of frenetic energy before I mean, I fed off of that, and now it’s like now that is my reminder, like, nope, nope, step off the gas, like it’s to kind of create some more space, you know, create more time, that type of thing, because I don’t even like that feeling before before I felt that off of it. But, you know, it’s just this, I just call it this awareness of, like you said, you don’t have as many zeros as you used to have. I don’t have as many zeros, but my god life is just, it’s just so beautiful in the simplicity of waking up and loving who you are and what you do. And if you just help one person, it’s a really great day.

Matthew Korban [32:00]
Yeah, absolutely. So I mean, you said it’s so so so true, this simplicity is the best. And I guess something that’s not helping nowadays is the pressure that everyone goes through. In his entourage, in a society, in the community in everything. There’s a pressure about everything. I mean, the moment you step out of your house, there’s a pressure of what you’re wearing, what car you’re driving, where you’re going, how you speak, everything is all expectations and expectations. And the mistake that I think we do is we want to match and exceed those expectations all the time. And we can never do because whenever we we we, we come close to this to matching the expectation the word gets higher and higher and higher. And there’s expectation for everything. And this is this is this is something that’s happening, especially now with social media, with videos with everyone posting everything and bragging. And it’s so tiring, It’s so tiring. So this is why I think and what I tell my audience and my mind my clients, stop looking at people do not compare yourself with others don’t look at this person, what he’s what he or she is posting on social media, maybe they’re living a miserable life, and they’re not showing up, they need to show that they are something important on social media so they could feel good. You don’t have to feel bad yourself. Just feel good for them. And let’s say leave this pressure from us. We don’t have to wear or dress up for other people or drive a fancy car or I don’t know, I mean, I gave up trying too much. Or to speak in an American accent honestly, because people expect me to as American to speak in American accent accent but the French is my first language and it’s messed my accent. And I get up I mean, I that’s it. I’m gonna talk the way I talk I’m, I gave up this pressure A long time ago, and I feel happier.

Krisstina Wise [34:01]
That said, Let’s head let’s switch gears just a little bit. We both like I said, we share a similar journey. And part of why I teach what I teach. And Coach when I coach and I’m guessing the same for you is I mean, I had to wind up on my deathbed for me to wake the f up. And it’s the best thing that ever happened to me was to go through that miserable, horrific and dark, dark, scary, scary period to be able to be where I am today. I mean, that’s that’s what I had to do. But I don’t want everybody to have to go through what you and I have been through. So what do you coach to what do you see when you see people that were in that pattern that you and I were we had to be taken to our knees to be able to wake up and to be able to transform our life to where we are now. But what do you advise people where you see them that they can go through this transition without having to be taken out before you know being forced to do it?

Matthew Korban [34:56]
You know, we always say breathing as is the best way to, to learn stuff. And we have seen throughout the times, many, many leaders making big mistakes and losing since Bonaparte, maybe and everyone else without naming big names, failing to achieve whatever they want, because they did not honor history, they did not respect history. And this is where I start with my client, I tell them listen, I was doing it to myself. And when everyone, my wife, and everyone who cared about me used to tell me stop doing stop killing yourself. And I used to say, now I’m very strong. And we’re not I mean, we don’t have to put ourselves to test to know that we’re strong. We have just do to create the balance. And the coaching I have developed is very balanced. And I know exactly what every business person and entrepreneur and CEO and they go through. I know they don’t have time to think I know, I know, they don’t want to compromise any deal or any time or anything. I know that they’re not gonna go out and exercise for two hours and order salads and just go to a to a to a to a party and eat, I don’t know, kale or something. I know this. And this is why we keep it realistic. I mean, the most important thing is for them to realize that they need help, and that it takes real strength and courage to ask around. It’s not weakness, like I used to think honestly, before that, I’m not gonna ask you what happened, I’m not weak. Now, you’re strong. This is why you ask. Because we live in a community. I mean, we need to help each other otherwise, just go live on an island.

Krisstina Wise [36:48]
That’s so important. And you know, I know even my, that old narrative I lived in was I’m so strong and invincible. I carry the world, on my shoulders, I take care of everyone, this is my job, it’s my role, and then waking up realizing like, Oh, my gosh, no, yeah, our bodies, our bodies can crumble, our bodies are fragile, you know, they have to be taken care of, and, you know, metaphor I’ve used is, is, you know, maybe, you know, I’m designed to be an f1 car and f1 engine, but they take more, they take more care, they take a lot more time and care and, and repair to be able to race like that. So it’s a, you go race fast for a short period of time, and then you take three x at time to regenerate repair to take care. And those you’d burn out the f1 engine really quickly, if it never took a break, if it never got, you know, that balance in that repair. And I think so many entrepreneurs, CEO, executive types that we just believe until we are reminded that our bodies can’t keep but they do such a good job to keep going until it just can’t go anymore. And I had every single red flag like you telling me like, honey, you are, you’re crumbling, and I just kept pushing and pushing and pushing. So I didn’t have time to go to the doctor, which seems silly now, doesn’t it? that that that type of mindset?

Matthew Korban [38:10]
Yeah, I mean, so true. And I love this metaphor, you mentioned, it’s, it’s so true. I mean, she just raised for for one hour, and then on the cover for for three weeks, and this is our bodies mean, we need to be balanced, we need the balance in our life.

Krisstina Wise [38:28]
And the joy is in the balance. And I call it actually something I’ve called it as balancing in the sense that when we put the into it that I enjoy, it doesn’t mean there’s ever a state of complete balance. But for me, it’s this awareness when I’m feeling out of balance, then it’s time to do some balancing that something’s off, but I’m too tipped one way. So now I need to just do some work to tip a little bit the other way, you know, and it’s kind of flowing with life, that there’s no constant state of balance, but it’s the awareness when we’re where we’re moving towards that out of balance again, and then coming back, like, oh, there went my meditation practice. Oh, there went my exercise. All right, I need to get back in I know the tools, I know the practices, and I got back in that energy reminded. So now step back, and to give ourselves that space to, to kind of you know, ebb and flow because life happens and there’s ups and downs in different states where we need to take more time and put more energy and, and do what kind of the race and the sprint, but then it’s like, Alright, now I need to take some time and space to regenerate, to recover, to relax, to reach more of a balanced state.

Matthew Korban [39:36]
Yeah, so true.

I mean, while you were talking, I had this image in my mind. I was watching a movie a Japanese movie a couple of months ago. And it was amazing movie this this the Sensei, this instructor, a master teaching his students and they were in the country and he called to stew to students and he has two fields, one field of wheat and another field. Have roses. And he said, You race and the one who wins will will choose a field. And it’s his and they raced and the stronger one, he said, I want And now I will choose the roses. And the other one, he said, Okay, I knew that you choose the roses. So I let you win because I don’t want the roses. I want the wheat. And the master was standing. And he said, Why did you choose the rose, he said, of course, the roses are more beautiful, they have smelled they have, it’s nice, and I wouldn’t choose those ugly things sticks. And the Master said, if the wind blows, it will cut all the roses. But this takes the wheat, they will they will just lean with the wind, they’re flexible. And this is how you should be you should be more flexible. You should lean left and right you should. And when you feel about balancing can the ink I love this, this image came to my mind how these things that we think they’re not beautiful. They go left and right with the wind, and they stay alive. While the beautiful thing like the roses that we love, they just die with with this. And it’s it’s amazing. I mean, yeah, I

Krisstina Wise [41:14]
love that. I love that story, that metaphor, and it makes me you know, just kind of want to know what the when you go back and forth. All right, well, we’re wrapping up our time together. But you have a process that that you guide people through that’s called, you know, discovery pivot launch. What does that mean?

Matthew Korban [41:32]
It’s it’s the process I have developed myself, I spent so much time to develop this, then I put it to testing and now I’ve been using it for for four years. And it’s very successful. It’s three phases. It’s as simple as three phases. The first phase is the discovery process. And in the discovery process, I I had my clients discover their why. And I think this is the most important thing to know your why to know your vision. And once you know your vision, who are you who you want to be, and not who you want to be in the future who you want to be now. And then you start drawing your destiny map. And this is the second on the pivot when you really pivot and do something that you should be doing rather than, because like Einstein said it, if you keep doing the same thing, you cannot expect different results. It’s just insanity to expect different result. And you keep doing the same thing over and over again. And the third p phases, the launch is the actual steps is where I give my my clients and my audience this image saying that, imagine you’re just on the border of forever. And I’m with you. And there’s a strong river there and you want to get to the other side of the of the river. So what I will do is I will lay down the stones in the river and I’ll take your hand and walk with you. But you have to be walking, I’m not gonna work for you, you have to walk our walk sometimes in front of you, sometimes next to shoulder to shoulder. And that will help you working but you need to do one, two. So one, two is seeing the other side. That’s discovery. The second part is the pervert which is laying down the stones and drawing the steps. And the launch is starting to work.

Krisstina Wise [43:19]
That’s beautiful. Thank you. All right, to to wrap up a few final questions. Tell me say Christina, if you really really knew me, you would know that. Tell me something about you that few people know. Wow.

Matthew Korban [43:44]
I don’t know. A lot of things.

Um, I looked up and I’m not tough.

I hide my my.

I mean, I cry in movies. And my wife laughs at me.

Krisstina Wise [44:04]
I say resonate with that. Alright, so tell me a brag moment with something you’re really proud of.

Matthew Korban [44:12]
Something I’m proud of.

I’m proud of.

I think I’m proud of what I’m doing now. I’m proud of I’m grateful for the second chance I have but I’m proud that I was able to walk out of walk away from my old life. Although I love my old life and it but I’m proud of myself that I made a carrier doing what I love what I want to do, even at the age of 45 but I still did it.

Krisstina Wise [44:47]
Yeah, that’s awesome. Let’s flip it. what’s what’s a big fat failure that was been one of your biggest life lessons.

Matthew Korban [45:02]
I guess not fighting for the, the thing that I love when I was young. I knew that growing up and when I reached almost adult age, I knew that I loved two things. And one of the things was music. And I was going to music school and learning to play music. And I left this because I’ve seen most of the artists starving, and I didn’t want to starve. And I regret this.

Krisstina Wise [45:32]
Thank you for sharing that. One final question. That to wrap this up? Is there a big myth? The big fat lie out there that you’d like to call out that you would like to bust?

Matthew Korban [45:43]
Yeah.

Ah, a lot of things.

I think

pretension. I mean,

I don’t like it. And I mean, I’ve seen a lot. I used to do it myself. And I see a lot of people doing it pretend that they like you or like something, or are something or, and they’re not. And the problem with this is, they think it’s like, Hi, it’s like an ostrich puts her head in the sand. You know, she thinks that no one sees her. The problem is, we know that it’s not true. And they don’t. And I don’t like this because when this happens, you cannot expect this person anymore. It’s like you get disappointed. And it’s happening a lot lately, just as I said, because everyone wants to match the expectations around so they start just pretending. And I just missed all those times. Maybe when, though there weren’t much, much pressure. I don’t

Krisstina Wise [46:59]
think that forces that pretense. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. Wow, your story is so big and so beautiful. And I’m very grateful that you had that life experience that’s created the the version of you that sits with us here today. And that’s going to help that is healthy, and it will continue to help so many people. And by the way, one of the first things when I heard you talk I thought oh my god, I love your accent. I’m really happy that you decided to stick with it.

Matthew Korban [47:27]
Thank you. That’s so sweet. Oh, you’re fast enough.

Krisstina Wise [47:31]
Matthew, thank you so much for your time for your story for your work. We’ll make it really easy for anybody listening that is wants to meet you potentially work with you. I’ll put all that in the show notes so that they can reach out to you. I know your story is going to resonate with with many of my listeners that are very entrepreneurial and and are working hard and just maybe stuck in in some of what you and I have discussed today.

Matthew Korban [47:54]
Thank you. Thanks for having me. It’s it’s been amazing and different. I like the Empress vibe. I love this. It’s so sincere and genuine. Thank you.

Krisstina Wise [48:04]
You’re welcome.

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