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Episode Summary
My guests on this episode of the Wealthy Wellthy podcast, CrisMarie Campbell and Susan Clark, are experts on conflict and communication in relationships. The pair met more than 20 years ago and they quickly hit it off, first as business associates working in the corporate world, helping companies enhance teamwork by understanding conflict in that setting. As they became a couple, they found that they were better able to understand and communicate with their clients about the conflict in couple’s relationships as well.
CrisMarie and Susan share the different dynamics that are involved and the far-reaching impacts of embracing conflict in relationships. From the perspective of increased intimacy and fulfillment, their discussion was eye-opening when it comes to trusting the other person enough to be open and vulnerable with them and trust that they will reciprocate. They talked about healthy and unhealthy conflict and how it is important to define the lines that should not be crossed based on each person’s preferences and past experiences. We discuss the benefit of talking about these boundaries early in a relationship, and how having these tough conversations sooner, relationships are more primed to thrive through conflict.
One of the most interesting concepts that CrisMarie and Susan talked about, is focusing on yourself and your needs before trying to contribute to the relationship. They share that your relationship will be stronger when you are stronger individually first and willing to talk about your needs and desires with each other in an effort to make yourselves a stronger unit.
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You can also click on the timestamps below to jump to those specific points in the conversation.
What We Covered
- [1:30] – CrisMarie and Susan’s story and how they started working together.
- [3:42] – The balance between money, health, and relationships.
- [5:11] – The beauty of conflict.
- [6:36] – CrisMarie and Susan’s perspective on communication on hot topics.
- [9:32] – The 5-5-5 Exercise.
- [11:18] – Having the courage to bring up a hard topic.
- [14:01] – What to do when you are not feeling heard.
- [18:34] – The power of being vulnerable.
- [20:13] – Relationships always take work.
- [22:40] – How conflict impacts you as an individual and you as part of a relationship.
- [26:55] – Healthy vs. unhealthy conflict.
- [29:50] – How to talk about deal breakers.
- [35:55] – Expectations vs. agreements.
- [38:52] – Keeping the romance alive.
- [42:45] – Talking about your attractions to keep the flame alive.
- [44:27] – The purpose of marriage.
- [47:47] – How to feel when a relationship ends.
- [50:56] – What resentment really means.
- [55:08] – Tools and resources available in their book.
- [56:02] – CrisMarie and Susan’s myth-busting topics.
Tweetables
[Tweet “There is a correlation between saying what really needs to be said…and health.”]
[Tweet “If you’re dealing and showing up fully, you’re going to continue to bump into conflict with each other, and that creates more passion.”]
[Tweet “It’s so easy for couples to assume we are on the same page when we’re really not.”]
[Tweet “Quite often, people are sacrificing their ‘me’ for the sake of the ‘we’.”]
[Tweet “Being sure to process through that conflict is key to having that sense of fulfillment, and when you have that, you generate more romances.”]
Links Mentioned
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