#148 – Understanding Gender Dynamics with Robert Kandell

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Episode Summary

On this episode of the Wealthy Wellthy podcast, I talked with Robert Kandell, host of the “Tuff Love podcast” and author of “unHIDDEN: A Book For Men and Those Confused By Them”. In the late 1990s, Robert went through a series of personal transformations that led him to make some significant changes in his life. He started a new company in 2005, but after about 9 years he realized that he was not in alignment with the direction of the organization, so he started his consulting business in 2014. Since then, he has been helping men and women alike understand the dynamics between them and the ways in which the mindsets ingrained in them since birth are no longer sufficient or productive.

His book is intended to serve as a translational guide between the genders, ultimately helping men and women understand each other, their needs, their goals, and their communication styles, especially in the new social landscape that has emerged since the “Me Too” movement of 2017. Robert believes that women are more empowered than ever before to be ambitious and aspirational, from school age all the way into career advancement, and men are struggling to engage with women in this shifted dynamic. Robert speaks to the ways that female empowerment and the integration of technology into the dating world affect relationships in general and outlines specific things to be aware of in maintaining a healthy relationship with your partner, filled with truth, transparency, and trust.

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You can also click on the timestamps below to jump to those specific points in the conversation.

What We Covered 

  • [1:33] – Introduction to Robert and his story.
  • [4:08] – How Robert got to the point of burnout.
  • [5:04] – The purpose of Robert’s book, “unHIDDEN”.
  • [8:39] – Advice for men and women in interacting with one another.
  • [11:26] – How the way men and women communicate their needs has changed.
  • [12:43] – The framework that Robert has set up for problem solving in life.
  • [14:30] – Robert’s comments on the spiritual growth movement.
  • [15:57] – Robert’s observations of the main issues with relationships.
  • [19:00] – The impacts of poor communication on relationships.
  • [21:24] – Truth, transparency, and trust in relationships.
  • [23:59] – What Robert thinks about the “swipe left” culture.
  • [27:10] – How technology is impacting relationships.
  • [29:17] – The main differences between masculine and feminine communication.
  • [32:02] – Robert talks about his loving marriage with a powerful woman.
  • [35:00] – Robert’s viewpoint on marriage.
  • [36:27] – Robert does some mythbusting.


[Tweet “I had two options: to continue on being numb and dumb or to go explore.”]

[Tweet “Men are behaving like boys and women are behaving like men.”]

[Tweet “Men and women don’t really know who to be and what rules to follow.”]

[Tweet “We are moved by inspiration or desperation.”]

[Tweet “People are trained to be mediocre communicators.”]

[Tweet “You have to tell a whole lot more truth than you are now, and you have to make it safe for your partner to tell you the truth.”]

Links Mentioned

Learn More About Robert

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