What People Want to Hear Vs. What They Need to Hear

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As a life coach, I am passionate about what I teach. Because after years of experiencing ups and downs in wealth and health, I now understand that the two are not mutually exclusive.

You cannot enjoy wealth if you do not have your health, and you cannot be healthy if you don’t have the money to sustain healthy practices. This is the philosophy that I believe in, and the philosophy that I have based my systems on.

But this is not the philosophy that society teaches. Society teaches us wealth for status, and health for beauty standards. Not for sustainability or for long-term happiness.

Because of this divide, I am always open to feedback. I want to know what people think. The good stuff and the bad. This allows me to be a stronger coach.

Screen-Shot-2015-12-06-at-12.28.46-PMWell, this past week, someone told me that I suck:

This got me to thinking: Why do they think I suck?

What I realized was that there was a discrepancy between what they wanted to hear and what I was telling them. And I believe that this discrepancy is the reason why so many people fail to achieve the wealth and happiness they are looking for.

What People Want to Hear

What people want is a formula. They want a simple 1-2-3 Business Plan to take their work performance and their income from average to exemplary. Because many people are under the impression that a business formula is the segue to success. And that making lots of money is going to magically turn their lives around.

Well, I can teach a 1-2-3 Business Plan – in all of six minutes. In fact, I do it here, in the video below. This is the very method that I used as a top performing real estate agent, and the method that I give to my top performing real estate agents at my nationally-recognized business:


The problem with the 1-2-3 Business Plan is that it is totally ineffective on its own. And that’s what I strive to teach people. I teach people what they don’t want to hear – but need to hear.

What People Need to Hear

The 1-2-3 Business Plan is ineffective on its own. Why? Because you cannot know what kind of numbers you need to be reaching for if you have not quantified what a good life looks like. In other words, if you have not defined what success, health, and happiness looks like to you, you cannot have a concept of what kind of income you need to be making in order to be successful, healthy, and happy.

Too often, people set arbitrary goals for what they think they need to be making, based on numbers that they’ve simply pulled out of thin air. This is useless. I know this because this used to be my approach – and I was another sucker on the hamster wheel.

For a period in my life, I was a high income poor person. I was a top performing real estate agent working hours on end to make the big bucks, but I had no concept of how to use my income to fund my happiness. And I suffered the consequences. I compromised my health and my relationships in the blind pursuit of wealth – and nearly lost it all.

So, when I discovered that money wasn’t the end-all cure-all, I asked myself: How much does it cost to live my life?

That question sparked the development of my current life system: my 7 F-Words to an F’n Good Life. I began to look at all of the meaningful areas of my life that I had previously neglected, and were too often omitted from money discussions – Faith, Family/Friends, Fun, etc. – and began to quantify them.

As soon as I quantified everything that was important to me, I was able to hone in on the business side of things. And I was able to plan effectively – and successfully. Because I was working off of real, logical goals supported by real, logical numbers. Not numbers I had dreamed up in my mind.

All this is to say that, while prioritizing F-words such as faith and fun over a 1-2-3 Business Plan might not be what people want to hear, it’s what they need to hear. Because you need an understanding of what the dream looks like before you can begin to pursue it. Otherwise you will continue to work inefficiently towards unfounded goals – and your life will be miserable.

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