This week I had the privilege of interviewing Brave Legend and Megan Rose with The Alchemy of We. With their more than 20k hours of combined experience facilitating, coaching and community building, they’ve come to believe that relationships truly are our greatest assets and that the true gift of life is learning to navigate them in a way that they become our greatest delight.
I love Brave & Megan so much. They started this chat by saying: “We’re nerds for relationships.” Haha! They truly are experts.
Now, let’s dig deeper 😉
When we think of relationships, there is a myriad of emotions and beliefs that follow. These are almost always dependent upon our upbringing.
These emotions and beliefs about relationships present themselves, in what Brave and Megan explain, as Attachment Styles.
There are three main Attachment Styles:
- anxious attachment
- avoidant attachment
- secure attachment
And, as we’ve heard before, this begins at a young age. We pick up these awarenesses in our infant years.
Brave and Megan mentioned, as adults, most of us lean towards anxious or avoidant attachment.
A brief example of the Anxious Attachment Style would be someone who:
Shows up as “needy” — needs to know a lot of information. Tries to control the situation. Very aware of the people they’re talking to. Seeking responsiveness.
Starts with infancy, when a caregiver is not responding and the baby has a tantrum, THEN the caregiver responds to that. It becomes a cause & effect relationship.
Anxiety is a high sensation in the body combined with fear. And fear is what’s being threatened here.
(You’ll find the rest in our episode :))
Some deep questions:
- Is conflict a bad thing?
- Does it take both partners to have the same desire to make a relationship work?
- What is your perspective on marriage these days?
Brave & Megan’s Tips:
- To live in harmony, we have to get out of that survival mode, trauma-based reactive behavior so we can accept belonging and consciousness.
- Find your unique flavoring for your relationship.
- Work on your relationship BEFORE it’s too late– don’t seek help when you’re at your whits end– do it before that.