#225 Alison Armstrong: The Master of Relationships

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Alison Armstrong’s exploration of human behavior began in 1991, with her decision to study men, “To find out how I was bringing out the worst in them. And hopefully, how to bring out the best.” Her success in understanding men naturally led to studying women’s behavior and making vital connections between the two.

Armstrong distinguishes human instincts that compel both men and women to behave in ways that contradict and undermine our own purposes, goals, values, needs and relationships. She offers partnership-based alternatives giving millions of people access to more fulfilling lives, loving relationships, stronger families and productive organizations. 

She starts off our conversation strong with this declaration: 

“…it brought me back to how crucial it is for us to take care of our well being– because if we are not taking care of our wellbeing, we are NOT those creatures– we are not the unicorn in the forest, we are something else entirely. 

Alison brings us clarity through being business minded vs. relationship minded… which, let’s face it, we are the audience for that! 

Here is part of her breakdown:

Successful men and women are equally ineffective. It’s a completely different mindset, skillset and energy! 

Being an entrepreneur is about being proactive– making it happen! 

Whereas relationships require the opposite. They require space and curiosity… It is a very different energy. It’s FLOW! Which, ironically, makes people feel out of control. Especially business-minded people like ourselves. 

So, what’s a gal to do? Ask your man for help 😉

Think about this: Men have been trained their ENTIRE lives to be heroes… and then no one let’s them. For men to help us, it is not a transaction. It is merely about them giving and us willing to receive. WILLING to receive. The ball is in our court! 

Most men think women are better than them– therefore, they do not want us spending energy on things that they know they can do!

One man said this: I want to do everything that I can do for my wife, so that she can be everything I can never be…” 

Man oh man was this conversation a breakthrough! See below for a few nuggets from Alison…

Alison’s Tips:

  • Ask yourself: what can a man give me? Genuinely, what do I need from a man that I cannot give myself?
  • Women shall not fear men with healthy levels of testosterone. In fact, men actually get mean when they have low levels of testosterone. 
  • Smile at and acknowledge the men around you… it’s offering an acceptance of them.
  • People complain when they feel powerless. 
  • Men are like dogs in the way that they want to do something for you: they want your love and attention and if you hurt them, they’re going to bite us and run away. 
  • The more real we are, the more in aw men are of us. 
  • Men marry a woman that they know they can make happy



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