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Episode Summary
On this episode of the Wealthy Wellthy podcast, we talk relationships with Bernardo (Bern) Mendez. From age 17 until Bern was about 23, he participated as a volunteer staff member in many self-help seminars around the world, which gave him an invaluable insight into how he could help others create meaningful and lasting changes in their lives. Bern has a serious passion to help others learn and live by the rules of relationships. He started posting videos to his YouTube channel, Yourgreatlifetv, after being inspired to share his message on relationships. Fast forward 9 years, he now reaches nearly eighty thousand men and women every month on his channel.
Bern talks about the importance of clear and direct communication when pursuing and sustaining a relationship. So much heartache and frustration can be eliminated if both people are clear about what they are looking for in a partner, what they anticipate the relationship to look like, and their future intentions. I get a little vulnerable and share some of my personal experiences with relationships. Bern gives me valuable insight that it doesn’t have to be an “either/or”, but it can be a “both/and” if you know what you’re looking for in a romantic relationship.
A big part of the law of attraction is what Bern calls “radiance.” He defines radiance as the magnetism that results from self-confidence, self-awareness, and self-discovery paired with the openness to be pursued and approached. Bern teaches that while it might not seem like it based on your previous relationship experiences, you are worth the effort and there are people out there who are on the same page as you when it comes to your wants, needs, and expectations. It might take longer to get down to the root of the other person’s character and inner longings, but finding the right person is worth the time investment, and if they are the “forever” person, you are not losing any time by talking with them extensively to make sure you are on the same page. If you’re searching for the one, you’ll definitely want to listen in on this episode.
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You can also click on the timestamps below to jump to those specific points in the conversation.
What We Covered
- [1:52] – The three buckets of life.
- [4:44] – The big missing piece in relationships.
- [7:08] – The turning point in Bern’s life.
- [11:07] – Bern’s observations when it comes to relationships.
- [17:42] – Changes from the old way of thinking.
- [21:20] – I share relationship struggles and realizations.
- [26:11] – The feeling and the act of love.
- [31:43] – The feeling of loving and being loved.
- [34:57] – The principles of attaching someone.
- [38:55] – The principles of sustaining relationships.
- [42:41] – Similarities between our relationship with money and with others.
- [46:31] – Defining terms in relationships.
- [51:40] – What is radiance?
- [54:42] – The art of opening and closing.
- [56:00] – Advice for men and women in relationships.
- [1:01:13] – Bern’s mythbusting.
Tweetables
[Tweet “There are specific ways of connecting with human beings and with yourself.”]
[Tweet “If I don’t do what I want, what I love, what I’m here for, then I’m missing the mark.“]
[Tweet “Most people’s problems are an addiction to the payoff.“]
[Tweet “I don’t think people self-sabotage. I think they self-protect.“]
[Tweet “How do you create a synergy where you both benefit from your strengths?“]
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