#118 – The Science Of Relationships With John Howard

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Episode Summary

Krisstina welcomes to the podcast John Howard. John is a couples therapist and he’s focused on what he calls the new science of relationships. As a relationship therapist and educator with over 15 years of experience helping people have awesome relationships. He is dedicated to helping spread love in the world by helping people have stronger, healthier relationships.

In this episode John and Krisstina dive deep into the inner workings of intimacy and connection. John shares a little bit of his own experience with neglect and disconnection which led him on a quest to discover what really makes love and relationships work. John gives a magnified look at some of his professional strategies. Then breaks down the science of relationships, he talk’s about how biology gets in the way of love and he shares what he believes are some of the most common disconnects in relationships.

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You can also click on the time stamps below to jump to those specific points in the conversation.

What We Covered

  • [02:03] Krisstina welcomes John Howard
  • [03:03] John shares about his childhood and upbringing
  • [07:46] John and Krisstina discuss the “side effects” of an atypical childhood
  • [11:00] John shares the harsh reality that sometimes it’s just too late for therapy
  • [12:51] One of John’s Unique Techniques
  • [15:35] John explains a fatal flaw in society’s outlook on relationships
  • [16:47] Money and relationships as a skill set
  • [19:51] The common disconnection
  • [23:00] Communication isn’t always the solution
  • [24:34] The pause and pivot method
  • [26:06] John gets into the science of touch
  • [28:50]  Mixing love and life stresses
  • [30:50] Watch your partner like a movie
  • [31:49] The desire to be right
  • [32:45] Emotional Intelligence
  • [36:17] The Science of relationships
  • [38:59] What percentage would you say have a great marriage
  • [40:07]  Commonalities of that percentage
  • [42:25] John gives criticism nuggets
  • [46:30] Challenges of the past
  • [51:00] How technology collides with love
  • [57:00] John Debunks a long told love myth


[Tweet “Relationships require a tremendous amount of skill.”]
[Tweet “The connection system doesn’t use the fancy thinking part of the brain.”]
[Tweet “Technology can be a way that we feed connection but we can not mediate connection through devices.”]
[Tweet “Relationships are much more about two people working together, not the individual health of each person.”]

Links Mentioned

Johns Website And Courses

Get a free copy of Krisstina’s new book “Falling For Money” here

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